


His Second Childhood

by selim_nagisokrov



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen, Return to Childhood, Second Chances, Time Compression Effects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-22
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 22:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selim_nagisokrov/pseuds/selim_nagisokrov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Squall returned from Time Compression, he wasn't himself anymore. Now he must grow up again, but would having his father in his life the second time make any difference? Squall doubts it, but time has never been on his side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Change

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. I am not making any profit off this piece of fiction.

When he first opened his eyes, he was assaulted by tiredness. With such a gloomy sky above him, all Squall could do was agree that a little more rest wouldn't be bad for him. The grass under him started to become wet with morning dew and loud voices rising above the field of flowers woke him the second time with a start. He was still tired, but not as much as before.

Pushing himself up, the teenager ran his fist over his face to push sleep from his eyes before stretching. It was nice to be back in his own time, and the few hours of shut eye was much appreciated, but he couldn't hide there forever. Monsters from the Lunar Cry still lingered in the area and he had to be ready for anything. Besides, now that he was more awake, he could tell that the voices were those of his companions searching the fields he'd promised to meet Rinoa in.

With a grunt, Squall rose to his feet. Overgrowth tickled his nose, causing him to snifflfe. He didn't recall the field being so tall, but he had been lost in time compression for awhile; it shouldn't have been that surprising. That was until he realized that his shirt felt looser than usual, his bomber jacket heavier, and his trousers non-existent as they slid off his slender waist. After looking down at his form, only a sharp breath stopped him from screaming. His body!

His nice, adult-like form had been replaced with an unfamiliar childish one which looked to be no older than two-years-old; it explained why his clothes no longer fit. He was left swimming in his white tunic while his hands fought through his jacket to get loose. His leather pants were a lost cause, pooled at his feet along with shoes far too large for. Pulling himself out of his boots, a throaty noise escaped from his lips as he fell back into mud. In the distance, he could hear the talkative Selphie fall silent. They were waiting for a monster to come out of hiding and Squall didn't know if he wanted to run away in shame or jump to get their attention to avoid being killed by them. Opting that he had a better chance of survival with them, a small hand raised up above the flowers, the sleeves pooling down as he waved fast.

"Something is there!" Ever the curious one, Selphie made her way over first, pushing through the overgrowth until she came upon Squall. "Eh! A child! How," she fought for the right word before clutching the child to her chest, "cute!"

"What's a kid doing here?" Irvine stepped over, bending to a knee in front of Squall. The man looked over the boy, his curious look fading into a smirk. "Well I'll be damned, more than just lost weren't you!"

"Not in front of the child! Ignore him, you can come home with Auntie Selphie and we'll have lots of fun!" Again the boy was pressed into soft breasts, causing him to blush darkly.

Zell was now approaching with Quistis and Rinoa, surrounding Squall. Getting too close to his bubble. Without meaning to, his hands tightened on Selphie's sleeve, a reminder of his instinctive insecurities. With a glare from the bubbly teen, the others stepped back to let her calm the boy down again. Irvine was still laughing, pulling Squall away from Selphie. "Hun, I think Squall would like his own personal space."

"Squall!"

"What in the world?"

"How-!"

Cowboy hat tilted back, Irvine's grin only widened. "Yep, that's definitely Squall like I remember. Well, kind of. I mean, the Squall I remember was about four, but he hadn't changed that much. I think he was caught a little too hard by time compression. You feel all right there?"

"…" Squall grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it down to cover himself. It was long enough to be a dress already, but the teenager in him was embarrassed that his friends – his female friend! – were seeing him in this state. He had never even let his roommate see him without sweats and a shirt. Now he was standing in front of everyone in just his white t-shirt because his underwear couldn't fit. Running to live with the monsters was starting to look better with each passing minute that his companions stood around sizing him up, trying to figure out what had happened.

After an agonizing ten minutes of his friends running around without a clue, Squall's clothes and gunblade were in Zell's hands and Squall was being led out of the thicket by Selphie to the Ragnarok near the orphanage. Edea and Cid were standing outside the old orphanage, waiting for them. It was Edea who stepped forward first, dropping to her knee in front of Squall. Without question, the boy tucked himself under her shoulder, allowing the woman he considered his mother to pick him up.

"Only one Squall," she whispered, "is allowed here."

It was exactly the comfort he needed as she bounced him soothingly. The others stood around, watching, but Squall didn't care as the soft sounds of Edea's breathing lured him back into a fitful sleep he needed so much.

The second time he awoke, he was on a soft, unfamiliar bed in Esthar with Odine centimeters from his face. With reflex that would make anyone jealous, the boy swung his arm out, pushing the strange scientist away as he scurried to the floor where he felt it would be safe. The cold metal shook his body awake. Biting back the cry that wanted to escape (he'd always been an over-emotional child), Squall pushed himself on his knees and took off towards the door, but the scientist had already grabbed him by the collar to put him back on the bed. With a wail only a child could make, Squall watched with sick pleasure as Edea stormed into the room to grab him. This followed by Laguna, who swore at Odine for overstepping his boundaries – again.

Comfortable in the former Sorceress' arms, Squall glared over her shoulder as his companions stepped into the room with Ellone. The girl bent down next to Edea, her sickening sweet smile grating on what little nerves Squall had left. "I'm sorry about this." She brushed his hair back behind his ear. "I don't have the power to put you back in your original body without compression again and…without a sorceress trying to combine powers with one in the future there's not enough magic to fix this."

"You mean I'm  _stuck_  like this?" The boy hissed.

"Ze good news iz that though you body iz that of a two year old, your mind iz zat of an eighteen-year-old!" Odine proclaimed happily, ignoring the glares shot his way.

Fist clenching on Edea's blouse, Squall glanced up at the woman. She and Cid were finally going to retire and live happily, with each other and without another thought of the sorceresses. He'd talked it over with Cid before the all out war. He was going to remain commander of the dorms, taking the work load off the headmaster, who was probably going to be either Xu or Quistis. Now he felt like his life was going to be pulled out from under him. No one would listen to a two year old, even if it was Squall. He wanted to ask where he was going to go, to know that he would be safe because, as Commander, he'd made enemies during the war.

"You'll be staying here, in Esthar!" Selphie clapped excitedly. "After all the people asking us about our kid, we decided it was best to be with someone more likely to have a kid then a bunch of teenagers. I'm too young to be a mommy."

Squall would have rather killed himself than have Selphie or Irvine as parents. Any of his friends would be too embarrassing. An orphanage in Esthar wouldn't be that surprising. He'd be safe, for the most part, in a recluse city under Balamb protection sure to be promised by President Laguna.

Ever knowing of his thoughts, Quistis crossed her arms over her stomach, leaning in. "We're not putting you up for adoption. You've been an orphan too long."

This made a fine brow become raised again, but Ellone was already up, walking towards Laguna. "Remember how I said I had something to tell you but there was never a good time?"

"Mm, yes?" The president nodded.

"Well now's good as any! Uncle Laguna, before Auntie Raine died, she had a baby."

"What the-! Why the hell didn't anyone tell me! I would have-!" Laguna turned around, towards Kiros, who was wringing his hands nervously. "You went back to Winhill to bring Ellone and Raine back why didn't you tell me! I thought we were friends!"

"She was already dead when I got to Winhill. I traveled to the orphanage where Mrs. Kramer here told me about the baby. Ellone was safer at the orphanage than in Esthar, so I left her there and…the baby. We asked the orphanage to take care of both children, that they'd be safer there. Esthar was still going through its revolution and without a mother …" Kiros grunted when a fist connected with his chin. Before Laguna could take another swing, Zell had grabbed him, nodding his head toward Ellone to continue.

The girl took a deep breath. "Squall is that child." The words shook Squall from the urge to sleep against Edea. Turning, he looked past Ellone to Laguna.

It was impossible for that idiot to be his father.

The timeline didn't add up.

An  _idiot_  was his father.

It made sense though. He couldn't see it personally, any resemblance, but he could faintly hear the moombas screeching in his ear ' _Laguna!_ ' over and over. All humans looked the same to them, he'd always figured since he couldn't tell them apart, but maybe they'd seen a resemblance that he'd been unable to.

Laguna wasn't fairing as well either, looking up and down at Squall. It was harder to tell in the toddler any resemblance to Raine except. "I always liked his eyes," the President whispered, "they reminded me of her, that's why I wanted to tag along. I thought…I just felt safe with him but…" That said, the president was stepping back with a stubbornly stiff leg dragging behind him, taking a seat on the hospital bed. Long hair swept his face, hiding him from the reality sitting across from him. "Is this why you wanted me to adopt him? A second chance to being a father I never had to chance to be?"

_I'd rather be with Selphie than with that buffoon. He's no father of mine!_

Faintly he could hear Kiros explaining himself to Laguna but his focus remained on Edea, humming softly while tapping his back like she used to. It was a blurry memory, but it remained with her holding him like this, telling him that he was always going to be her little boy. "…I want to go with you, Matron." He whispered.

"I'm in no shape to raise children again, Squall. I think you should stay here with Mr. Loire and Ellone and grow up as a child and not a trained mercenary. If not for yourself then do it for me?"

With a side glance at his new father, Squall tightened his hold on Edea with a nod.

"Yay! I knew Squall would go along with it! Oh! I almost forgot!" Selphie rushed out the door, returning with a bag. "Rinoa and I went shopping for you. It's not your usual wear, but we tried for a close second. Rinoa even made the jacket look like a bomber one, just 'cause you'd like it that way." Opening the bag cautiously, because with Selphie anything was possible, Squall nodded in thanks. A plain white shirt in his new size, a hand-tailored "bomber jacket" with thick faux fur, dark blue jeans, plain tennis shoes (he was afraid the shoes would have some cartoon character), and plenty of underwear. Closing the bag tightly, Squall slid from Edea's lap to go into the bathroom to change. Door shut behind him, Squall grunted as hell broke loose on the other side; Laguna finally started fighting about his forced role of biological-adoptive father and his friend's, and Matron, arguing that it was his paternal  _duty_. He could already tell this was a bad idea, especially since he was likely to be dead in a week under the president's childish care. But, he'd taken care of himself well enough on his own thus far. A few more years wouldn't make the world of difference.

Besides, a second childhood was just what he needed. He couldn't face the obvious fame that would come upon him by his friends and peers. And Rinoa – he liked the girl, she was sweet, but he wasn't really good boyfriend material. He couldn't give her the time and attention she'd obviously wanted. Now he could avoid her for another fifteen years. Luckily, by then, she'd likely find herself a husband and settle down and finally be happy.

This also gave him a time to just relax. He was already at the top of his game. Now he could re-train himself with the gunblade. It seemed like a pain, after all the time he'd already put in with it, but it was better than just letting the Lionheart sit in its case and gather dust.

Tugging the long white shirt over his head, Squall fumbled with his new white shirt, trying to wiggle his little arms into it. The task of dressing became even harder when he found he couldn't simply stand on one foot to tuck his legs into the trousers. In the end, he found himself forced to lie on his bottom and tug them up with several perches until he finally stood dressed in everything but his shoes. He had socks on, Selphie didn't deprive him of those (however he could have done without the little soccer balls on them), but his shoes had thrown him for a loop.

Laces.

They'd never affected him before but this time he couldn't get his fingers to work. Fumble as he might, the only thing he accomplished was knotting them when his stubby digits tugged at the thick laces. After awhile, he discarded the shoes in a bag; he'd ask Ward to buy him Velcro ones so he wouldn't have to face anyone else with his problem.

Fumbling with the doorknob, Squall stepped into the room as all fell silent again. Kiros sat up on the bed, breaking the headlock he'd been in. "Are you okay with all this, Squall? It's all rather sudden."

 _Hasn't really set in._  "…" Squall dropped his things next to Edea, giving Rinoa his old shirt with an uncomfortable glance. She'd put it with all his other things after washing it. She was trustworthy in his room, unlike a certain brunette.

"I'll make sure Zell and Selphie stay out of your important things as we put them in storage. Is there…anything you want immediately brought here? Your Griever case or…the Lionheart?"

"Both. And my personal possessions… everything else can…" Squall didn't want to admit it, his life was going to be put (likely) in a basement at the president's palace for him to look at when he was feeling nostalgic. His throat tightened and he closed his mouth, promising not to say anymore until he felt better about the situation.

A hand touched his shoulder, but Squall shrugged it off. He didn't want to be reminded again about the situation he was left in because of Time Compression. With one glance at Laguna, the child stormed out of the hospital room.

Laguna followed after.

It was awkward, standing beside the man he had just realized was his father. His…sire almost eighteen years ago. When he didn't know the man, he'd always faintly resented his parents for leaving him in the orphanage. Often he would sleep, dreaming about what he could have been like had he been raised in a loving atmosphere by parents and not teachers. Discovering that his being put up for adoption was a mistake only fed the flames of hate. "You could have looked for me."

"I didn't know." Laguna crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

"You could have looked for Elle. Isn't that why you sent Kiros to bring her and Raine – my mother – to Esthar?"

The man's brow twitched, a sign of disproval. "I'm going to be pissed with Kiros for awhile, but he meant well. He told me Elle's folks had come back from the war – her daddy I mean. There was no more reason for me to be there then. The truth is Elle would have been safe anywhere but Esthar at the time and Edea did more than I could have to protect her. I mean, creating a whole SeeD group just for my girl? That's saying a lot. I wasn't worried. Raine had died, I couldn't face her grave site. I still can't. I feel like I abandoned her when she needed me most, but I can't change the past no matter how much I wanted to do it. Ellone wanted to change the past just as badly but it's all set in stone."

Glaring up at the man, Squall crossed his arms across his chest. "I might be stuck like this for awhile."

"That's  _if_  they can fix this." Laguna scowled.

"I'm not looking for a father, I've never needed one and I don't need you."

"As much as I'd love nothing  _more_  than to win Father of the Year, that boat has sailed. I'll raise you, this time. I feel obligated since we suggested time compression. I'm only here as financial support and a signature wherever you may go." The words were listless, reminding the toddler of something he would say – not Laguna. Somehow, he knew Laguna wanted nothing more than their history to disappear and them to have a loving father-son relationship but the man was right, that boat had long since sailed. Child or not, Squall was more independent than any person his age should be. The two could be nothing more than business men around each other. No favors, no love lost. Their relationship would continue how it started – empty. "Gee, when the council suggested I get more of a family image I don't think they meant this…"

"I won't be known as Leonheart." Squall clenched his elbows.

"Nope, the papers to change your name to Squall Loire are on my desk. Squall Leonheart is the Commander of Balamb Garden who went missing during the Second Sorceress War."

A new name, a new home. It was all starting to become too much. Suffocating almost. "…Matron…" Leaving the hall again, Squall returned to his only safety blanket until she too would finally leave him, his loving Matron.

A week later, his friends left him in Esthar. Squall had never felt more alone.


	2. The Brat

Squall pushed his bangs back before refocusing on the weapon magazine set out in front of him. Apparently the newest issue was being published straight out of Esthar and all it took was a call from their adored president to get a post-dated copy sent to the palace. In the week he'd been a permanent guest at the president's palace, Squall had locked himself away with the simple magazine, his collection of gunblades from his travels, and a gunblade remodeling kit. He wasn't too impressed with the recent upgrades for the lionheart, so he couldn't find the heart to touch the weapon. Instead, he focused his attention on his first gunblade to make his own model that would cause the blade's fans to swoon in delight.

If only his hands worked the way he wanted. He'd thought that in his smaller form it would be easier to move screws into those small compartments of the unloaded revolver, only it appeared his motor skills didn't work that way. He couldn't keep his hand still to insert pieces or use the screwdriver just right. Instead, he found himself with crayons (thick enough to keep his hand around) and drew scribbles of what  _his_  ideal gunblade would look like.

He wasn't the best artist as an eighteen year old boy. As a two-year-old, he was even worse and it was slowly making his patience snap. Which left him with another problem, he realized. No longer focusing on his work, he discovered he was hungry. It was odd, considering he had just recently had breakfast before Laguna went to work, not four hours before.

Climbing to his feet, Squall peaked out the door. No sign of Laguna, yet. The man tended to come back around lunch to make him something to eat, but there were no signs of the goofball of a president. Scowling, Squall continued towards the kitchen that branched into the living room and dining room. The palace was no different than a large set of condo suites, the president receiving perhaps the finest of Estharian goods. Normally, Squall would have looked into his new environment, but the last week had been hectic, leaving him not in the mood.

His stomach growled noisily, reminding Squall of his goal. Striding into the kitchen, Squall eyed the large ice box that he'd seen often enough lacking food. It was a bachelor's pad through and through, but having spent his whole life living off of dorm food, Squall had only seen pictures of these large refrigerators. He'd been surprised to find that Laguna's was as empty as Squall's old, small dorm one. Kiros had explained that the man kept bread, loose meat, and a bag of chips here and there. Most of the time, the man was forced to dine with ambassadors and top ends suits from Esthar so the fine Estharian cooks made him more desirable meals.

They hadn't thought to fill it for Squall. Grunting, the teen decided a sandwich would do. If only he could reach. Looking around for quick solutions, Squall finally pushed a chair over to the counter and tried to climb up. He couldn't get his small body onto the padded cushion. After pushing the chair aside, Squall pulled drawers out instead to make a stepping ladder up to the counter. With cautious steps, he made his way to the top, continuing his trek for food.

The first cabinet had a jar of peanut butter that Squall dropped to the ground. Another drawer had a box of saltine crackers, opened and staling. Not picky, Squall dropped those to the ground before making his way down.

Though his small hands weren't good for putting small screws into tight spots, they easily fit between the seals of the refrigerator, pulling the door open with ease. Looking up, Squall saw a jar of jelly on the top shelf. Grumbling, the child started his climb up and froze halfway up when the glass under his hands started to slide out of its ridged spot. Eyes wide, Squall jumped back with trained reflex, watching the glass shelf fall and shatter. With a long look at the jelly, Squall resigned to his fate of peanut butter crackers. Shutting the refrigerator door (careful of the new mess – that someone else could clean up), Squall made his way back to his room with his trophies.

An hour later, with a dry mouth, Squall was feeling his thin patience ready to snap. With no sound from the outer room signaling a person capable of reaching the glasses on the highest of shelves, Squall was finding his source of irritation in the crackers, now smashed into the rug of his room. Taking another stale treat from the bag, Squall smashed it down with the rest. After making a creature that resembled a glob on the carpet, Squall uncapped the peanut butter to set his creature in stone. Why? No reason really, he realized looking at the large mess he'd made.

Faintly, he could hear the door to the apartment open and somewhere swear. His first instinct was to hide. Considering first instincts kept people alive long enough, Squall did just that, darting under his bed where the soft blue blankets hid the boxes brought back from Balamb. Watching cautiously, Squall eyed his supposed 'father' with something akin to hate. The man looked scared at first, but the mess of peanut butter and crackers seemed to relieve whatever worries the man had when he first entered the room.

"No worries, Kiros! Squall's here. He'll come out when the thirst kills him, judging by this mess of peanut butter and crackers. Think the staff will be mad about cleaning this mess up tonight?"

"Why is Squall here unsupervised, Laguna?"

"He's not a kid!"

"This mess isn't a kid? He obviously can't take care of himself. Get a nanny like your advisors said when you filed for adoption. Eighteen or not, he can't be here alone in his condition."

Glaring at the sealed door, Squall rolled out from under the bed to put away his gun blade collection. With a glance at his dirty fingers before hand, Squall used the front of his shirt to get as much of the mess cleaned off before sliding his things under the bed. He was about the crawl back under when his door opened again and a large hand grabbed his foot, dragging him out. Lifted in the air, Squall could only stare at Ward hard to know that he was in trouble. "I didn't mean to." Squall whispered.

The man's dark eyes softened as he put the child on the ground. One big hand brushed through Squall's messy hair in a soothing motion. " _I know you didn't._ "

"…Was just hungry," Squall continued, "next thing I know, there's a mess."

Another brush through his hair was enough for Squall to grab a thick mass of leg and cling on as he was lead out into the kitchen to overlook the mess that Laguna was attempting to help clean with the staff on hand. The president glanced over, and his confused look hardened then softened as he took a deep breath before shaking his head. "Maybe this was my fault. We both are forgetting how old your body is."

 _Yeah, but if it was Elle in this situation you'd be bending over backwards to do things_. Squall stifled his sharp comment. He didn't want to be helped, but he saw what Laguna was talking about. Really – what sane man gave a two-year-old a gunblade remodeling kit and left them alone for days on end? Squall was used to doing everything for himself, including getting food. He'd long since forgotten a time when Matron stood behind him to help him and the other children do things they just weren't able to yet.

"I'll get you a hands-off nanny – so you can do what you need to do, and she can do what you can't. You tell her whatever you need, and I won't hear any of it so you can still have that privacy you want." Laguna eyed the mess thoughtfully. "In exchange, I don't want you doing anything that as an eighteen-year-old you would question doing – like climbing on things that aren't made to be climbed on."

Squall looked up at Ward, knowing his bottom lip was sticking out. " _Water_." He whispered. The tall man nodded, reaching through the cabinets. He gave Laguna a look before removing a glass cup that he filled with water. Leading Squall to the table, the man sat the glass down on the table before putting Squall on a chair. Without preamble, Squall grabbed the cup, draining the liquid. He made a relieved noise as he set the glass down, sliding out of his chair. With an off glance towards both men, Squall fled back to the safety of his room with another problem he didn't want either man knowing about.

Ellone had been sweet when Squall had addressed the problem a few days before. He'd been ashamed to discover a lack of control in urination. Though he was able to make it to the bathroom on his own, sometimes he didn't register the urge until it was too late. At that moment, he realized a need he'd ignored in his quest for water. A second too late. He didn't want any of the men to know that he'd gone from underwear to disposable nappies over night. It was worse to explain why he smelt like pee when it did happen, so the boy had learned to hide his problem in the safety of his room, in his personal bathroom. When the maid came, she took his nappies away and Laguna remained none the wiser of Squall's rare problem.

Slamming the bathroom's door shut, Squall went about his business before scrutinizing his recent mess. Though it wasn't much, since he'd stopped himself just in time, he changed his 'underwear', hid the evidence, and left his bathroom, only to jump in surprise at Laguna sitting on his bed reading the weapons magazine.

"Y'know, I had an article published once in this. Long time ago, before I ended up in Winhill. During the war. I was so proud." The man turned the page. "The weapons get worse and worse with each edition. They don't try hard enough. I saw a machine gun in here once that was supposed to fire faster than normal. Yeah, but the shaft would jam and the gun would explode in your hand. No thanks."

"I didn't invite you in here."

"We have to clean this mess too." Laguna pointed towards the 'glob monster' on the floor. Squall eyed it. He supposed that was true. "You don't have to hide it. Ellone already told me; that's why the maid checks over your bathroom so closely. If you need things, just ask. I'm not going to laugh."

The blood rushed to his face as his shoulders stiffened. That was worse than anything that had happened. It had been his embarrassing secret and his older 'sister' had told his biggest enemy. Shaking, Squall turned and fled. He ran past Kiros and out the door, trying to get as far away from Esthar as he could possibly get. Not even the guards stationed along the walls were able to stop the boy as he made his way out of the palace, his short legs burning from use. He only stopped when he hit thick crowds in the shopping district, becoming lost in the flocks of people trying to find the latest of trends.

Falling to his knees along the outer walls, Squall watched the crowds with scrutiny. His small lungs burned as he breathed deeply. From the corner of his eye he saw paper fly through the air. It fell feet in front of him, and Squall ignored it until he saw his name in fine print. Making his way again through the crowd, he realized just how short he was. People ignored the boy, nearly stepping on him on many occasions until he was able to crawl back over against the wall, paper in front of him to see an article about the recent sorceress war and the garden that fought for the people's freedoms. The last words of the article caused him to curl tightly into himself, the reality of his life finally setting in.

The commander of Balamb Garden, Squall Leonhart, was killed in action.

He knew it would come to that. It was hard to explain the time compression's affect on his adult body – it would be hard for anyone to accept a two-year-old saved their sorry asses. Letting his head lay on his knees, he stared blankly out at the crowds, watching as they went about their days, never knowing the feeling of one day waking up as someone else, forced into a life never had.

Someone sat next to him. Squall didn't need to look up to know it was Laguna. The man had an air around him, a fragrance of the flowers still in Raine's old bar. It was a nice scent in compression to the flexi glass and machinery associated with Esthar. However, it was also the freezing of people in the presence of their great president that cued Squall in who'd sat next to him. The sound of sneakers dropping to the ground next to him jarred the boy from his thoughts and the flood gates broke.

He turned into Laguna's side and cried. His death plagued him. No one wanted to see their achievements listed on the front page of any newspaper as a testament to their short life. Squall was no different. It was a mockery that he couldn't finish what he started. He wouldn't be the 'best gunbladist' or the finest commander of the Balamb Garden. He couldn't remain friends with the people he'd grown attached to during his adventures. Even in a few years he'd become a lost relic.

Squall Leonhart, the man, was dead. It left behind a shell of a child with no niche of his own. He couldn't even hold his beloved gunblade anymore. He hadn't fallen in love with the blade until he was fourteen, forcing him to work hard to become strong enough to wield the tool. Now he couldn't even pick up the handle without both hands, and even that wasn't enough to hold the weapon steady.

His fingers hurt from trying to make his own blade, the small screws cut into small hands that were incapable to clasping just right. He'd suffered cuts from the blade, having slipped when loosening the handle.

The adult side of him mocked his inabilities. His lack of control was a curse that he couldn't handle.

He cried for what felt forever, releasing the hold of the newspaper long enough to grab the graphic shirt Laguna dared to call proper work attire. His body tensed only when an unfamiliar hand brushed through his hair awkwardly, trying to soothe the boy as the crowds dispersed. After what seemed like forever, Laguna finally opened his mouth. "It's okay."

"No it's not!" Squall screamed. "I'm not a kid! I'd rather be dead than a kid!"

"But you are!" Laguna reached for his own bangs, gripping them tightly. "You're a fucking kid, Squall! You can't do what you used to. You can't control your bladder, you can't be playing with your gunblade – shit, what was I thinking giving it back to you!" His hand moved to the top of his head to grab more hair in shame. Squall analyzed the behavior, having seen himself do something of the same before. Their hair always took the wrath of their embarrassment. They grabbed and pulled, trying to relieve strain felt. It almost made the boy smile at the familiarity of the situation. Almost. "Ugh. Look. We're going to have to find our own way through this. Um, I'll take you out shopping tomorrow for more hobbies that can keep you busy – I'm guessing you like drawing?"

An image of his cracker and peanut butter glob crossed his mind, an ugly relic of a monster he once fought with ease. It made Squall snort back a laugh. "I hate drawing."

"And books. You can read right?"

To his surprise, Squall couldn't find the energy to hit the man. He just didn't want to. A heavy feeling wisped around him, making him lay deeply into Laguna's arm. The man was warm and (dare he say it?) comfortable. The people, less than there was before, disappeared from his vision.

When Laguna noticed the weight on his arm was heavy, he glanced down to find Squall had fallen asleep. A look of peace that had been missing since the beginning was finally set in stone. Now, without the mask of a worrisome teenager, the boy actually resembled his two-year-old form. Brushing his fingers through the boy's hair, Laguna laid his own head back against the cool wall. In the corner of his eye, he could see his guards, lead by Kiros, standing along various walls to protect their leader from the stray monsters still in the city.

"You just needed a nap, didn't you?" He whispered.

"He is two." Kiros added, walking over. The man seemed uncertain if he was overstepping his boundary anymore. Their relationship had been strained if anything since Laguna had learned he had a biological son – almost twenty years before.

"I keep forgetting. Elle wasn't in this stage when we first meet."

The man exhaled deeply. "Yes, but she had her own needs that only Raine would meet. And remember, you had to play imaginative games to make all the worries of the world disappear. She didn't know what was out there and was in bliss because of that. Squall has seen things even we haven't. His mind is…perhaps older than us. His body was eighteen. His body now is a child that needs special care. Laguna, please. You need to get off your own high horse about not knowing what to do – you always knew what to do with children. Just give Squall the care you used to, and still do, give Ellone. Only Squall needs leeway to know what's going on and to put in his own two cents about the situation."

"I'm going to decide what to do," Laguna whispered, "as time goes by. Pick up his shoes, will you? I'll carry him back. And, uh, go over to that book vault and find a toddler rearing book for me. I need something to blame my problems on."

Kiros smiled and did as he was instructed.


	3. The Nanny Mishap

Laguna must have expected it to be easy to find a laidback nanny for Squall. It wasn't hard for the boy to know that any person that came through those doors would try too hard, especially if it meant to impress their beloved president. They wished nothing more than to appease the small boy to receive looks from Laguna. At times, they even went as far as to attempt putting the moves on their bachelor president. Squall snorted with each attempt. He doubted the man had time to look over the Estharian women that threw themselves at his feet. Laguna was painfully oblivious to his (still) boyish looks.

By the fourth nanny, Squall had grown used to the abundance of children's snacks, walks to the park, and fights around naptime. He despised the concept of any kind of bedtime, be it night or day. He kicked and screamed when he was tucked into the bed. He called them horrible names when the door was locked behind them. Rage left messes that the maids were getting tired of cleaning up, but Squall didn't care. He wanted Laguna to know how he hated the new 'parent mode'. He was Commander of Balamb! He was a hero of the people! He was—

-Running for his life. The new nanny, who Squall dared not to remember her name, was a persistent person if there ever was one. She'd figured the reason or Squall's tantrums was that the boy had too much energy to fall asleep and the best way to deal with that was by putting the boy in a toddler gymnastics class that was just, as the boy had reasoned, like a prison. Even in his youth he hated all those easy exercises that fatigued muscles too fast. It didn't leave the person tired, simply embarrassed by the sight of themselves in a mirror not far off.

Climbing into an inner tube, Squall watched through the plastic windows as the woman and five of the instructors walked around to find him. Grumbling, Squall tucked himself further in, out of reach of long arms. The only way they could get him was by climbing in and (luckily) the pipe was only large enough for a small child. With narrow eyes, Squall watched the other children jumping around not far from his hideout; laugher filled the small room, ricocheting off the walls between his name being called. Grunting, Squall pushed his legs out in front of him, losing himself in the sight of his untied laces. He almost didn't see the hand reach for him.

With a scream, Squall pushed himself further into the tube, where it connected to a stairway up higher in the shaft. Squall glanced up before looking over at the instructor trying to climb in to grab him. With a deep breath, Squall started his climb.

His shoes fell off halfway up the toy, but that just made it easier to curl his toes around the thick bars as he pushed himself into another pipe further up the block-tower. Another plastic window gave the boy a bird's eye view of the gymnasium. Possibly three meters off the ground, Squall pressed his nose to the barrier, watching his nanny make an attempt to climb up. She'd never make it, Squall smirked at the thought. The toy was only designed for children between four and six, and Squall's former training was enough to get his chubby form up and through the tubes until he was safely nestled into a higher tower connecting to a slide.

A squeak escaped his throat with the gymnastics coach reached into the tube to grab him. Crawling back, Squall stopped just short of the ladder taking him down to where his nanny looked up with narrowed eyes. He knew it! The boy fought back the smirk. The woman could only be too sweet for so long before her resolve broke. Onto the newest nanny! Maybe Laguna would finally realize he didn't appreciate the "aid" or "mother figures" in his new life. He just needed someone to reach the top shelves at home, not a person to remind him that "growing boys need naps."

He didn't know why, but he felt the need to sabotage all of the help. He didn't like them and felt that they were only there for one reason – the bachelor, Laguna. With the only knowledge about Squall and Laguna's relationship being that the President had adopted a war orphan, the women had piled outside the palace gates to get a chance to become the boy's mother. For the most part, none of them came to Squall's par of mother-material. No one was Matron, the only mother he'd ever know.

Besides, he just got his biological father back – after eighteen parentless years. He needed to make Laguna's life a living hell.

Deciding that he was going to be stuck in that tube for awhile, Squall busied himself at attempting to tie his shoe lace.

It had been a month since he arrived in Esthar and it had gone by as if the other day hadn't existed. Not that he was having fun or anything, rather he woke up with no real recollection of the smaller things he did the day before. It was as if every day was a new day with new troubles and an overbearing father trying his hardest to look like he really didn't care. Ward was always there to smack Laguna back in place though, making the tall, burly man Squall's new favorite person. The man was a supportive ear that would intrinsically know what made Squall happy. He had mock battles with the boy, never once attempting to be some horrendous dragon or smelly malboro like Kiros did. Kiros treated the boy like a two-year-old, using careful language and played safe games that stimulated Squall's mind.

While the adult in him hated it, the child in him loved it. He had to fight the urge to squeal in delight every time he was thrown in the air when being picked up. Ward was usually bad at doing this, especially when seeing the child after a long day. He'd suddenly toss the boy in the air before apologizing in remembering the bundle in his arms was not a child, but an adult who'd never been tossed like that save for the time in battle when he'd been knocked in the air by a monster's tail.

Speaking of which, something big caught his attention in the plastic windows, towards the door. Ward! He never dreamt of the day he'd consider the quiet man to be his savior, but Squall made his way to the long tube where he was going to make his escape down a long slide. He would have slid down too, had two children also hiding from the gym instructor were already taking refuge in the tall slide. Tense, Squall eyed the children, trying to size them up. Both were possibly four, one chunkier than the other. The larger child tried his own attempt to look menacing.

"This is our hideout, baby!" The child pushed Squall back to the tube he'd come from. Pushing forward, Squall tried to make himself to the slide but was stopped by the smaller of the two. Again he was grabbed and pushed back, another hindrance to the toddler's plans.

"Yeah, our hideout!" The skinny one chimed in.

Trying to push past again, Squall slammed his small shoulder into the skinny boy's ribs, effectively pushing the boy away. His next strike was on the stunned chubby kid. With strength he didn't know he had, he pushed himself and the child down the slide, one rolling down while he slid down on his belly leaving painful burns. The pain was overwhelming for him, and he chimed in with his own pained cries with the two four-year-olds, drawing attention from his nanny, the gym instructors, and Ward.

The large man was quick to pick Squall up, patting the boy on the back until finally Squall found control of his emotions. Lacing his fingers under the man's uniform collar, which was properly folded down, the child eyed the two boys on the floor screaming that Squall had hit them. At the same time, the nanny was trying to tell Ward about her charges behavior, including ignoring her for the better part of the day. Red in the face, Squall tucked his head into Ward's shoulder.

Ward's stern stare down at the kids was enough to get both boys to start crying again about hideouts and babies but Ward was no longer listening. With a firm nod towards the nanny, Ward and his charge left the gym. Bottom lip extended, Squall relished in the silence that was Ward, trying to figure out what was going on in the man's head. He would have thought with all his experience in being quiet, he would be able to interpret the facial expressions of the mute man.

One, it was odd for the man not to throw Squall in the air when he was lucky to even get the boy in his arms. Two, he was quick at picking Squall off the ground before the boy could throw an all out tantrum that came with the child mind. Three, he still hadn't put Squall down. He had either seen enough at the toddler gym to give Laguna a negative report or he was annoyed with Squall's uncharacteristic behavior.

"They kept pushing me first." Squall supplied absently. "And she kept reaching up to grab me." There wasn't any question who "she" was; every person in the presidential palace knew that Squall didn't like his much needed nanny. The feeling was mutual, considering the woman had addressed concerns of her charge being 'standoffish' and 'anti-social'. The gym had been, more or less, her idea to open the toddler up, especially since he was having "problems adapting to his new environment" according to the woman who overnight had a degree in childhood psychology.

Ward just patted the boy on the back and kept going. He didn't stop at the magazine racks to pick Squall up a new issue of a traveling guide, as he usually did, and instead stepped on a transportation unit nearby, programming it to take him directly to the palace. Disheartened, Squall wiggled himself out of the man's hold, taking a seat to watch the world go by. "H, has," he tried again, "the Balamb Garden contacted me yet?" He hadn't heard from any of his old friends since they left and it was beginning to scare him. Painful memories of standing at the old orphanage when Ellone had disappeared kept him awake at night.

Shaking his head negative, Ward tensed when the transport came to a sudden halt before the palace. He stepped out, Squall following after. As always, Squall stopped; his head tilting back to look over the large presidential palace, taking in just how big it was in comparison to his small frame. Grabbing Ward's arm, Squall stopped the man, tucking his head into the presidential aid's open palm. Thick fingers brushed stringy bangs back, letting stormy blue eyes see light and Ward's friendly smile. "Yeah." Squall nodded. "They just got busy with war publicity."

Ward's arm lowered, taking Squall's hand to take the boy inside, easing past the guards in front of the president's office. Laguna's head was ducked into some paperwork, the ear piece of a phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear leaving him too busy to see Squall attempting to climb on the plush couch in the corner as Ward and Kiros stepped to the side in a hushed, one-sided conversation.

"—You'll receive the bill in two to three weeks." Laguna dropped the receiver on the hook. "How was school?"

Scowling at the man, Squall crossed his legs as he dug deep into the couch cushions where he'd hidden some magazines.

"Kiros removed those before my early meeting." Laguna tapped at his keyboard, the projector monitor flickered into existence with a budget table. From the corner of his eye, Squall noted a positive from the Balamb Garden.

"You charged the school?" Squall screeched.

Kiros actually jumped at the boy's rise in voice. "Please keep your voice down."

"I didn't just  _charge_  them." Laguna rubbed his temple. "There was a war; we 'hired' Balamb Garden as mercenaries to supply the Estarian War Effort against Adel. We were more than happy to pay that; however, we sat down and crunched the numbers and the facts. It was one of said mercenaries that caused the whole war to begin with. General Caraway denied responsibility for his daughter, saying she was being claimed by the Garden. Headmaster Kramer didn't deny this and took charge of the girl's actions during the war. Parliament put the price down for releasing Adel in the first place, which evened out our cost for hiring your ragtag team. But then we had to consider the damage your group made. I overlooked them, as damage is expected from war however the use of our ship Ragnarok was not. Fuel isn't cheap with that mission; looking for Commander Leonhart was one thing but searching for a little alien that may or may not have existed was a whole other matter—"

"Selphie really got into that search!"

"Exactly!" The man stopped working. "The fuel alone is in the tens of thousands because it's not from this world. The Ragnorak is the first of its kind. Esthar was actually happy when it disappeared in space. That's where the credit comes from."

"You'd," Squall bit his lip but forced the words out of his mouth, "charge your own son?"

"Of course not. If I was doing that, I'd put a price tag for all the adoption paperwork that usually comes with taking on a child. Even if you are biologically my son, I still would need to adopt you for the name change. Legally that cost but that's a responsibility of my own. I tried to ease the overall price by compensating Mrs. Kramer for taking care of both you and Ellone so it lowered the bill by hundreds of thousands but I can only help so much before parliament throws a tantrum."

The budget was beginning to hurt Squall's head. He knew things cost, but usually someone else covered those. Another part of him wanted to say that Laguna was in his right, as a contract holder, to try and put things in his favor. The man was—

"You seem surprised, Squall." Kiros was chuckling, annoying the child. "You didn't think Laguna remained president for something he did almost twenty years ago, did you? The man's an idiot, the perfect politician."

"…not an idiot." Laguna grunted. "See if you get dinner tonight. Ward, order pizza! Make sure I get Tabasco sauce on my Galbadia Eight Meat."

"Ew," Kiros wiggled his nose, "No, two votes beat one. No Tabasco sauce."

"But it's good-!" Both Squall and Laguna cried out at the same time before freezing, eyeing each other. Throwing himself from his desk, the president lunged at his son, wrapping his arms around the boy's small frame. "I have another vote. This is the best day of my life!"

"Get off-! Ward!"

* * *

After dinner, Squall had a strict schedule that led up to his bedtime. At first, he fought the rules, but realized that, like his nap, an early bedtime was needed if he was going to give Laguna hell the next day. After brushing his teeth and climbing under his blankets, Squall ignored Laguna tucking him in before leaving. With heavy lids, Squall listened to the faint wind outside his window until he was lured to sleep. It didn't surprise him that he woke up once in the middle of the night, a problem he'd had back in his teenage years.

He used that time normally to visit the toilets, but upon climbing back into bed, Squall found himself unable to sleep. After twenty-minutes of tossing and turning, Squall slid out onto the main floor, greeted by the darkness of the condo. As his foot stepped onto the cold tile of the kitchen, the autolights switched on, bathing the room in a soft glow. Making his way to the phone, Squall climbed onto the barstool, putting the receiver to his ear, calling the school.

It didn't surprise him that it was Zell that answered the phone. Although the boy didn't have many leadership qualities, he'd been active during the war leaving him able to take on Squall's old job since Quistis (who did have leadership qualities) wanted to return to her safe job as an instructor. The boy seemed exhausted when he answered and a quick glance at the clock explained why. It was two in Esthar, leaving it likely twenty-three hundred in Balamb. He never expected Zell of all people to pull an all nighter.

"Shit Squall, Laguna's got the headmaster by the balls. I mean, it's not that big of a bill, I saw worse while looking in the files but it's the principle of the matter. We helped them. We could have just returned back to Balamb and let Ultimacia take over the world but since we're now housing two sorceresses secretly the man has ammunition and isn't afraid to use it."

A snort escaped Squall. "I'm sure I still have a pay account somewhere, use the money in it. I was saving for after my mercenary days but…I have years to worry about that now."

"Thanks man. We'll fax the forms to you for your signature; um…you can sign right?"

"My motor skills are next to nil but I'm sure I can get Ward to sign something close." Squall reached for an apple, digging his teeth into the red skin.

"Thanks, that'll ease the problems here. Rinoa up and left when Ellone admitted that neither girl was powerful enough to return you to your original form. She didn't want to wait sixteen years for you to be legally okay to date. So I still don't think we should cover her cost, make that bastard Caraway do so."

"She'll return to Timber, in hopes of returning to obscurity."

"Won't happen, man. You should have seen what happened when we dropped by Galbadia. Apparently they're not needy enough to take back Martin but a real war hero like Irvine, now that they jumped all over. We haven't seen his skinny ass since they took him inside the garden talking about a good paying job. Selphie is the same way. Trabia demanded her, apparently they can get recovery funds if they have a good ole war hero in their ranks. Place is looking nice too – oh, hey Squall, I'm going to have to go don't want Laguna sticking me with a call either. Thanks again for the aid."

"Whatever. Also," Squall changed the ear he had the receiver pressed to, "can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, man."

"Seifer. I want all reports on his whereabouts."

"Shit…You do know that three other places want his head on a platter?"

"Yes, that's why I want him first. He has a lot to answer for and I'd rather have him in Esthar where he's not a wanted man. Just get me Seifer."

"Yes, yes, Commander Leonhart." Zell chuckled before break the connection. Scowling at the phone in his hand, Squall hung up the phone.

Running his fingers through his hair, Squall rolled his stiff shoulders. He needed that, it was nice to actually be spoken to as an adult. Tucking away plans to call Zell again, Squall returned to his bedroom.


	4. The Sick One

It was just his luck for his day to start so poorly. An hour before Laguna was supposed to be at work, he'd discovered his son had yet to rise from his room. He'd tried to ignore it, continuing his search for a babysitter since Ward came down with the flu, but after another thirty minutes and still no sign of his usually-up-before-the-birds son, Laguna had made his way in Squall's room, phone still pressed to his ear as the childcare business went searching for a nanny that said boy hadn't scared away.

Only he discovered the same virus that took Ward down, had also claimed a second victim. When Edea Krammar had gone on about things to expect from a child Squall, she hadn't said anything about how needy a sick Squall was. In fact, he doubted anyone was fully aware how delusional the buddle of baby fat could be.

Using his right shoulder to keep the phone pressed to his ear, Laguna trudged around his living room with a heavy body in his arms, nestled deep into the crevice of his left shoulder. He had a meeting to get to in a half hour, still no babysitter, and no sign of Kiros. To think he'd actually been in a good mood when he'd originally rolled out of bed. Patting Squall's back, the man ignored the pathetic groans coming from his son as he maneuvered a cup of coffee under the boy. "Are you sure no one is available? Sick? Every last one of them?"

Glancing at his son, Laguna rolled his eyes. Even flashing his name hadn't been able to get him a babysitter. The women may have bowed to their handsome leader but they were intimidated by the barely coherent child current making gurgling noises against his ear.

Gurgling noises? Laguna barely made it to the sink with Squall when the boy spewed whatever he'd eaten the night before. Wiggling his nose, Laguna rubbed his son's back as the boy continued the heave. "This goes to show you," Laguna smirked, "that you'll be punished someway, somehow for your bad behavior."

"N'feel ga…" Squall reached back for Laguna. Propping the boy on the counters, Laguna worked at cleaning the boy's face before turning on a hot water faucet to clean his sink. With the kitchen looking somewhat presentable and a horrible stench coming from his shoulder (ah! The boy had got him too!), Laguna carried Squall to a couch in the reading room, tucking the boy under mounds of blankets. With one glance down at the boy, the president knew what he had to do.

Since being forced into office by the Estharian people, Laguna had never taken a personal day. He'd been lazy at work, but he'd never had to call in for anything. He always felt bad when he had to cancel out of meetings that people had waited months for. It looked like his weekends were going to be busy, fitting people back in. Maybe he'd get lucky on this one day off and would find a nanny for his little monster? Doubting it, Laguna dialed up his secretary anyway as he slumped against his wide recliner. He didn't have to turn to feel the wide icy blue eyes watching him from mounds of blankets.

"It's just me and you today, kid." Laguna dropped his head back. The eyes disappeared under the blankets. He saw the fabric curl around the small figure and knew Squall was trying to sleep again. "Thermometer…Thermometer…therm..." He ruffled around his drawers. He knew at one point he'd had one, but he doubted it was still lying around after all these years. The last person he'd used it on was Ward who, though rarely sick, was often hit the hardest. Between Kiros and himself, they were sick at least twice a year but were able to care for themselves during those times. "I should probably have one ordered or a doctor. Maybe this is time compression related and…" He reached for the phone, but saw Squall's hand move from the blanket's in a grabbing motion. "What's wrong?" The boy didn't respond, making raspy noises before bringing his head out from the blankets, emptying his stomach on the floor. "Right: and a maid."

With a sniffle, Squall snuggled himself in the blankets as Laguna went about making phone calls. He couldn't stop apologizing when the maids worked at cleaning the mess his son had made. He usually got Kiros to clean it up, unable to stomach the stench himself, but the man was busy babying Ward. The doctor, though reluctant to make a house call, had only agreed because the president had begged. It was either the guy or the creepy scientist Odine breathing down Squall's neck. He wasn't stupid, he knew the boy wasn't overly fond of the quirky doctor (few were) and the man would probably find some sorceress related problem that would require Squall to be incubated until further notice.

"My stomach hurts…" Squall whispered. Grabbing the boy, Laguna brought him into the bathroom, ignoring the wide eyed women afraid of having to clean another mess. Letting Squall slump against the toilet, Laguna rubbed the boy's back. Several empty dry heaves later, Squall rubbed his runny nose into his arm.

"How did that poor Garden handle flu season with the likes of you?"

"N'ver was sick like this," Squall looked up, his eyes glazed over. "One time Seifer helped me. He was sick too and we sat around watching movies and hogging the blankets. He sat with me like this and held my hair and…" The boy rambled as his body turned to snuggle into Laguna's shoulder. Instinct that he didn't know he possessed made him wrap his arms around Squall while pushing himself off the floor. Aging knees creaked but Laguna didn't stop as he made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a deep bowl in one of the cabinets. The maids, he noted, had already excused themselves. "…And he helped me empty the fish tank. Made lots of trips that day…" Squall's fingers raveled into Laguna's hair. "…And then he had to go and be an idiot."

"What the hell are you going on about?" Laguna placed Squall in the boy's bed, but the hands tangled in his hair didn't relent its hold. Forced back down to his knees, Laguna worked Squall's hands away before brushing back sweat soaked bangs. "We're looking for him."

"P'ease don't let them kill 'im." The buried himself under his blankets.

"I'll do what I can, just sleep." Laguna tucked the bedding in, awkwardly reaching for a chocobo plush toy Squall had taken a liking to over the week. "Just go to sleep so you can go back to terrorizing my staff tomorrow." The boy gave him a weak smile before falling asleep.

Rolling his shoulder, Laguna escaped the stuffy room while unbuttoning his soiled tunic. Watching those maids clean made him realize he was missing another person helping him with what he couldn't handle, namely his son. He had a dream the night before, of a happy little family consisting a mother, father, a Squall. They had said to give the boy the whole "family experience", something he hadn't really had in his youth a long time ago. His own mother had divorced his father, remarrying and starting a new family that didn't involve him. His father had hit the bottle hard after that, but still took the time to teach his son the way of life through his fist. With a back glance at his son, Laguna went to change his shirt.

He wasn't in any hurry to share his second chance with an unrelated woman.

Hours later, after excusing the doctor who still felt that, in the end, it had been a waste of his time to come and sooth a doting father, Laguna found himself again being held by his sick son who wanted to be cuddled and waited on hand and foot. It was still a weird feeling to have such a small body pressed so close to his own, especially since even Kiros and Ward knew not to get in his personal space until given permission, but Laguna couldn't find the heart to force Squall away as they watched cartoons.

Well  _he_  watched cartoons. Squall was staring blankly at the screen while rambling on about giant fish and gunblades in his own fever-based delirium. He'd almost missed it when Squall changed the subject with lose connection. "I wanna see my mother."

"Excuse me?" Laguna glanced down, raising a brow. Certainly he hadn't heard what he thought he had? He wasn't ready to see Raine's grave. He still felt like it had been his fault for her untimely death.

"My mother. You know, the woman that several odd years ago you got lucky – with possibly the aid of a lot of alcohol on her part – to have thus making an honest woman of yourself."

"Both of us were sober that night, very much in love—"

"And very unprotected – ew, scratch that, now I'm imagining your ass getting it on." Squall groaned, clenching his eyes shut with a hoarse cough. "I want to say my goodbyes," he continued on when his fit subsided. "When we were traveling, we came across Winhill but never her grave."

"They wouldn't tell outsider's where it is. To be honest, I have a small idea of what they'd put it. There was a field of her favorite flowers not too far down the main path. From the hills, it'd probably be hard to see the grave mark if the flowers are in full bloom."

Squall pealed open his annoyed blue eyes. "You mean they wouldn't even tell you, her husband?"

"…Ah." Laguna rubbed his jaw. "The judge had to sign the license. The people didn't have to accept the marriage. We were only a week in when Ellone ah…" He was almost sure that his sudden disappearance hadn't helped his position with the people. They'd lead him off another cliff before they'd tell him where her grave was. And Squall, as small and cute as he was, wouldn't be so lucky if he just went around asking random strangers where his mother's grave was. Besides, the baby given up for orphanage would have been almost twenty now, not two. They wouldn't bother with taking the time to understand what had happened they'd simply see Laguna, with another kid, and probably accuse him of wrong doings as if from the very start they'd accepted him with the local girl. "I'll see if Ellone can find out. She went back there to open up an orphanage, ease the town into accepting outsiders. Can't turn away a child who lost a parent in the recent war, now can they?"

Squall scowled. "What if Seifer was turned into a kid too?"

"We can't shake every blonde child we see to find him either." Laguna rolled his eyes. "Seriously: what's with you and finding that guy? I mean, I don't hold him at fault for the whole Adel thing – we all make stupid mistakes – but really? Him? From what I understood from your friends, neither of you were flowers and rainbows to begin with."

"Facade." Squall waved his hand absently, lodging himself closer into Laguna's side as his eyes closed. "We didn't hate each other that much – wouldn't have talked to him if I really hated him. We fought, we made up. Rinse and repeat every week. He helped me dispose of my pet before the Garden Sanctum found it." Laguna rolled his eyes as Squall started to ramble aimlessly again about his goldfish.

"You know, you're really annoying when you're sick"

"And you're really an idiot." Squall retaliated before starting up about rabid squirrels or something along those lines.

"I feel for Raine now. She said I acted like you are now when I was sick. Idiocy must run in the family."

Squall fell silent. Laguna smiled.

"…If Sis finds the gravesite can we go see her?"

"Huh?"

"Mother."

"…" Laguna brushed his bangs back. "Now why is it you'll refer to her as a mother, but not me?"

"She has an excuse for not being there. Now about the gravesite."

"I'm here now!" Bit back Laguna, his fingers tightening around his roots. "Damn it, Squall! If I had known I would have been there faster than lightning but things aren't that easy! They never are we they should have been. Kiros, shit! He should have told me, but he did the right thing leaving you there. Squall you turned out into a nice man, a little anti-social than I would have wanted, but your priorities were straight. You saved the world, and the future may never have to worry about rogue sorceresses or stupid wars and knights and pointless dreams! Time can't be changed, we saw that, but it can be fixed. I'm here now, all you have to just live with it!"

"Father is too foreign." Squall dropped his arm over his eyes, wincing. "I have a headache, just shut up." A winded cough followed. "…I know we can't shake every blonde kid down for information, but can't we just look at orphanages in this area that may have received a blonde haired child? I mean, I haven't seen that many blonde's in the area he can't be that hard to find."

"…I'll have Kiros look into it, now go to sleep." Laguna ran his hand through sweat soaked dark hair. He didn't have to wait long before the boy was asleep, grasping the blankets and his plush toy. Frowning, Laguna reached for the remote, flipping on the large screen imbedded in the wall. He'd never really gotten into all the Estharian technology, usually opting to walk to locations than use the transporting unit, but he found love to the digital televisions. The resolution quality beat anything he'd seen before, but he'd rarely found time to watch it.

When he did watch, he was forced to watch something news related to keep up with current events but sometimes he liked to surf through the thousands of channels to find something with the most flashing lights that could keep his attention. He was halfway through his arsenal of news programs when he saw a flash of blond in the crowds of a group of rioters demanding a real explanation for the Pandora Incident. Flipping back to the station, Laguna scanned over the crowds again until he saw the yellow that had got him again.

And Ward said his eyes were getting bad.

There, hidden under a fisherman's hat, was Seifer Almasy. The man was trying to look inconspicuous behind a mother and her son, taking the part of a family man to anyone who didn't know what to look for.

The man almost looked the part of an Estharian man, possibly in attempt to hide from the cameras and the world. Esthar  _was_  the safest hideout for a year or two. It was only a matter of time before the council forced him to shut down the outside transits. Currently SeeDs were helping with monster extermination so it was only fair that Seifer would lie low since within the Gardens his face and name was known. Judging by the screen shot of him in the crowds, the man was putting on a beard and going for a more aged and like Squall had mentioned, it was Esthar, a person with blonde hair was noticeable.

It had been almost a week since the riot the news was still going on about. Two days ago Laguna had done a press conference about Pandora and the state of Adel. He swore to the people that Adel was truly gone. He didn't mention the new sorceress, letting the people believe that Rinoa died when Pandora fell. It calmed the people's hearts, especially since Laguna had built an honest name for himself as a republic defender.

Taking in the screen, Laguna analyzed the riots background. He could have thought that the riots had taken place two blocks from the presidential palace, but it looked like the one being filmed was downtown. Seifer had also worn a workman's overalls with a less known pubs logo on it. Laguna smirked. He'd bet Squall's beloved stuffed chocobo doll that the missing man was working at the pub.

Beside him Squall moaned weakly, his stuff toy dropping innocently on the floor. Its button eyes stared at the paused screen, taking in the sights. Swallowing hard, Laguna raised the remote, hitting the next channel button. Replacing Seifer's nervous face was himself at the last public conference.

Squall wouldn't have to know. It was in everyone's best interests to just leave the ex-sorceress knight alone. With one last glance at the chocobo on the ground, Laguna toed it aside before leaving for his private office to catch up on his work.

 

* * *

The news program into the corner was a horrible reminder that he should have stayed home. Dabbing a washrag in a wide rim glass, Seifer returned his attention to his work. He was lucky to get this job shortly after the time rip occurred. He could still remember Ultimecia's break over his mind break, leaving him a crying mess in the ruins of Pandora as it fell back into the sea.

That night he'd crawled back to land with a new resolve, to better his self image and make an honest man of himself. He'd lived his dream, discovering it wasn't as romantic as the old movies and books had made it out to be. If he ever found that crummy 'knight' in that old film, he'd beat the shit out of the old fart. "Hey, slave driver, let a man go on his break!"

Haines, his boss, was anything but. The man had given him the job without questioning his past, he'd also went as far as giving the boy a place to stay until he "got his life back together". This wasn't to say it made the poor man's life to happy, however. She accused Seifer of wrong doing the moment he stumbled in the bar begging for table scraps. From pedophilia to stealing crumbs, she accused him of whatever floated her boat and yet still would leave him an extra helping late in the night.

The old man put out his cigarette, still focused on the news feeds. "In ten, Seifer." The news changed back to topic on the president, or rather the life style of their president. "After Pandora you'd think they'd have more to talk about than the president adopting a kid."

"Maybe they need something light to ease the tension?" Seifer put the cups away. "Where I come from, after all the hurricanes, they always talk about the kittens that miraculously survived the storms."

"Ah. Cute kid though, Seraph thinks it looks just like the president. I don't know, maybe it's technically his grandson but no one wants to admit how old he's getting?"

"I highly doubt that," a costumer in the corner put down his bourbon, "For twenty years that man's been working like a maniac to better Esthar. We'd of heard if he'd fathered any children who could father children again." His two cents fell on deaf ears however as Haines changed newsfeeds to something with more action. "'Ey, old man, wasn't your wife working for the president?"

"She quit the other day. She loves children but couldn't stand the president's son. She says that he has something wrong in the head, probably from the orphanage or somethin'."

"Going on my break, boss." Seifer stepped out from behind the counter. From his pocket he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, a habit he'd picked up since working the bar. The smell alone calmed him, knowing that no one would come find him on this side of town, working in a bar. Once outside, he lit a stick enjoying the feeling of his nerves relaxing. He didn't move from the alley, taking in the sounds of the busy city.

He wasn't stupid; he'd seen pictures of Laguna's son. He remembered the little boy in his memories that spent many long nights crying for his sister to come back. He knew that the boy was Squall, just a much younger version. He'd found himself several times blocks from the palace, just wanting to turn himself in so he could apologize to his oldest friend. He never could make it inside, however. Something always stopped him, either himself or the guards; he never made it past the front gates.

Dropping the cigarette butt on the ground, Seifer crushed it under his shoe. Thinking on it now, he didn't see what seeing Squall was going to do for him. He doubted the boy would accept any apology from the man who committed treason. Besides, if that child really was the Squall, he doubted he wanted to interfere in the once chance the orphan had at having a real childhood.

Lighting up another smoke, Seifer dropped his head back. Some guys had all the luck.


	5. The Runaway

It had been another miserable week in the life of Squall Loire. His father had decided that a nanny wouldn't do, Squall had never been raised with the sole attention of one person and having three grown men doting on him was already too much to handle. A day care, Laguna had proclaimed, was ingenious. With at least fifteen other children, it could feel more like the orphanage or the garden which would make Squall have a bit of normalcy from his old life. That decision had pushed the boy into a meltdown. The first day, when Laguna sprung up the new plan on the boy outside the building, Squall had begun to cry, under the irrational fear that Laguna had given up on raising him.

Every day, Squall would throw the same tantrum. His eyes would water, his breathing would shorten, and before he could stop himself his arms would be wrapped around Laguna's neck in a hug, begging for forgiveness for whatever he'd done wrong. For the most part, Laguna was at a loss of words on how to deal with those emotional mornings. Every day, Squall's arsenal of toys would get bigger, but the boy's tears wouldn't relent.

It wasn't that he was trying to act up. The tears didn't work and his irrationality drew him to the chain gate outside to watch Laguna climb into a private transporter to return to work on the other side of the city. The adult in him was appalled at his behavior. He had attempted to call up Matron the night before, to get reassurance that his degenerative behavior was normal. Her inability to answer the phone had spiraled him further into a depression.

Once Laguna's transport was out of sight, Squall moved back into the building to go about his daily job. After his first melt down, he heard his new caretakers comment that the two-year-old didn't _sound_  like one. Since that moment, Squall stopped making a half-baked attempt at conversation. In retrospect, he'd never been around children. Students found pregnant at Balamb were often expelled from the program. Children were always about seven when they were admitted to the school program leaving his experience with younger ones from television shows. It gave him bad vibes that people didn't trust him at being a toddler, but he doubted they'd believe he was nineteen either.

A part of him died at that realization. What age was he? He hated being treated like a baby. If he heard someone enunciate his name  
cutely one more time, he'd certainly rip their head off. At the same time, for once in his life, he was being spoiled rotten and he loved it. Grown men couldn't ask in a small voice for grilled cheese and apple juice after a well deserved nap without the other person in question mocking him.

So he had a plan to use the small hell called Day Care for his own purpose. He would study those kids. Laguna was putting the extra effort in to be a better father then Squall could at least make the attempt to publically act like a child. He chose another quiet little boy who'd thrown a similar tantrum about being abandoned as himself. Pressing against the metal gate for the seventh time that week, Squall rubbed his heavy eyes. An attendant touched his back soothingly before walking him over to the cubbies to put away his backpack of toys away. Grabbing his toy of choice to carry around (an old toy train resembling one that had been 'well-loved' back at the orphanage), Squall checked the area for the child. As he expected, the little boy was reaching for some crackers from the attendant to take with him and his orange juice.

Reid Newmak was the child of some executive in Urban Development. It was, from what Squall could get from Laguna, through that child's father that Laguna had learned about the expensive 'child prison'. His mother worked at a downtown hospital, leaving the boy alone for days on end. Shifting the toy train under his arm, Squall rushed past the work to follow Reid's example. His mind worked fast, recalling how the other children had referred to the snack, "Cookie!" He raised his hand expectantly.

"What do you say Squallie?" The woman smiled.

 _Call me that again and I'll rip you fucking…_  "Please?" He forced a smile as a fourth of the cracker was placed in his waiting hand.

"You may, thank you for asking." The woman ruffled his hair. Scowling, Squall turned towards Reid, already making his way towards the jungle yard to join the other children.

Dark eyes gave him an analytical look before stuffing the cracker into his mouth to empty his hands. Without any preamble, the child climbed up the wide steps to the first level of slide. Ignoring the chances that the cracker may cause him to choke, Squall stuffed the dry food in his mouth as well, wincing as the sharp edges brushed the sensitive sides of his mouth. Honestly, he never liked graham crackers. Sometimes Matron would receive a box from Cid at the orphanage, but Squall always found those too dry or too sweet for his taste. These were the same, swallowing was like trying to fight Ultimacia with a butter knife. It was hard, painful, and trying process. As he'd expected, even the small rectangle had been too much for his small mouth, forcing him too chew and split the food between his cheeks until he could swallow.

Brushing away the drool from the corners of his mouth, Squall followed Reid onto the slides, asking for help to climb up ladders. For the life of him, he couldn't understand how he'd once lived with such ineptitude. Simply relying on people for everything was bothersome, especially when those persons spoke to him in such a demeaning way as the helper at the bottom of the slide, encouraging the children to come down on their own power through imagination. "—Here comes Squallie! Greatest snowboarder ever-!" Squall's brow twitched, the last boy had been a dragon slayer after a red dragon. "Can he make it?" Shoulders tense, Squall seated himself on the slide, pretending to contemplate the fall as if it were a mountain rather than a simply four foot slope. The day before, he'd witnessed a child have a breakdown about its height, so he could understand the need of help being at the slide, but…for every child?

He couldn't stand looking at that ground. It did look far off, but he was able to rationalize his height to ground ratio, with the plush floor variable, as being safe. There was no way he could physically hurt himself on it and throwing any kind of fit would have been more of a waste of his time than acting like a duckling to a child that seemed nervous about the shadowing. Behind him the line was starting to build, children starting to whine that "Squallie" was taking too long. He ignored them, opting to use his new found platform to take in his environment outside the day care.

It left nothing to his waning attention however. The voices of disgruntled children and the encouraging voice of the worker had him ready to throw his legs over the side and just  _jump_ down, but he refrained. A two-year-old would never do that. With a deep breath, he pushed himself down. Without a second glance at the instructor, he canvassed the play yard, looking for Reid. He smirked when he saw the child pressed against the gates, staring over at a small café across a busy walk way not too far off from the daycare. Joining the boy, Squall tried to see what was interesting in the area, but besides a ratty looking blonde man leaving an upstairs apartment, there was nothing of interest.

"What are we looking at?" He finally asked. The other child gave him a wide eyed stare before rushing off towards a playhouse. Rolling his eyes, Squall glanced over the café again. Besides that blonde man, he saw nothing in particular.

How weird. He hadn't lived in Esthar for long, but that was certainly the first light haired person he had the chance to see. The same shade as Seifer, the man looked like any other haggard drifter. He probably took the first chance at a new life in the Forbidden City the minute the war started. It reminded him to give Zell a quick call after Laguna went to bed, just to see if there had been any signs of Seifer.

He was pulled from his thoughts when his small body was lifted into unfamiliar arms. One of the instructors was carrying him over to plush mats to sit him in a large circle of children for sing-a-longs about what color items were. Reid loved it, the children loved it, Squall just wanted to bash his head into the soft carpeting. He needed his Boku-chan to deal with anymore of this idiocy; at least the stuffed bird didn't judge his inward appearance. "But," he whispered, changing his voice into a high pitched whine, "but wanna read!" Inwardly his vocabulary cried at the poor sentence structure, but that was the first thing to go. Two-year-olds didn't talk in complete sentences. He could live with just being quiet a good chunk of the time, but he had to actually apply himself at asking for things like any toddler would… although he was taking a liking to the word "mine" very much.

"After sing-a-long time, just sit here. You don't have to sing with them, just…stay." She held her hands up as if telling a vicious dog not to attack. Squall rolled his eyes. His distaste for the singing was becoming known amongst the worker, to the point they also knew if they took an eye off him he'd make a run for it. Anxiously tapping his foot against the padded mat, Squall raised his train above his head.

"Zoom…zoom…"

Pleased that the boy was distracted, the worker walked away and Squall's arms dropped. The train slipped from his fingers as he dropped to his back, gazing up at the clear ceiling panels. Puffy white clouds, clear blue skies, it was relaxing. Nap worthy really. All he needed was to be under a tree with the wind blowing through his hair. He wouldn't have to worry about the sticky fingers reaching for his toy, or the sound of the guitar strumming to a song about the colors in the world around them. Out of all the songs, he hated this one the most.

It was so demeaning.

In that sickening sweet voice, the singer would turn to each student asking them to name an object and the color of said object. Squall had played along at first, but even that had grown tiresome. Willpower alone stopped him from being a total ass and telling that it was not a  _brown_ but  _beige_  . He'd never had songs growing up (besides the occasional soothing tune that had no words from Matron) and he'd turned out just fine.

Although that was debatable.

"Squallie what color is the sky?"

Squall ignored her, tucking his hands behind his head. That blond haired man outside still bothered him. He hadn't seen blond hair since he last saw Quistis and Zell. The dry heat of the desert surrounding Esthar didn't allow. However, he wasn't satisfied with just thinking it was another random drifter from the east. Of all the people, why a blonde? Maybe he'd found the man he was looking for, but there he was stuck in a jail with other children.

Besides, lady luck hadn't been in his favor much in his life. There was always that growing chance that he'd just let Seifer walk past him and made no attempt at shouting for him. That knowledge made him weary. He'd always thought that he was ready for anything life had to throw at him, but now he was beginning to realize that even hundreds of Ultimacias didn't match up to seeing Seifer again with such a diminutive body. What was he supposed to do, just walk up as if nothing had ever happened?

As if that would ever work. Seifer would probably look at the child like Squall had two heads. There was no guarantee that Seifer even remembered the orphanage gang. It would be nice if the man, like Squall, had foggy memories sprinkled around fake images of television shows he currently watched. It would give himself someone to fill those gaps with. Of course, he also knew that Seifer wasn't one to take on a GF going as far as to publically refer to them as Battle Handicaps. It was a shame too; Squall had always seen Ifrit to be one of the same with Seifer. Both had a fiery passion for dreams wrapped around an angry persona.

His heart panged. Shit he missed Shiva. He forgot the…power he had with her. Slamming the heel of his foot against plush flooring, Squall bit back a curse at every sorceress.

Faintly he could hear the soft sound of "choo-choo" next to his ear. Reluctantly, he turned his head to watch Reid rolling the train roughly against the floor before slamming it down a few times with deeper train cries. Sitting up, the man-turned-child watched, concentrated on his train. He could almost hear the object crying out to be saved, reminding everyone of its veteran years. He remembered Selphie, four at the time, dropping the orphanage's out of the lighthouse just to see the splash. He remembered crying because it was supposed to be his turn with it. He was going to ride that very train to find Sis and—

"That's mine!" Squall ripped it from Reid's hands, readying to be attacked by the other boy.

It never happened. Instead, Reid started crying thus drawing the attention from the staff. "M, my choo-choo!"

"Squall was Reid playing with that?"

"It's mine!" Squall tightened his grip around the toy, sure that the women would take it away. Sure enough, a smooth hand came down, reaching for the toy. Annoyed, Squall bit down on it, unrelenting when she made a startled cry. If he let go of it, the last part of his childhood would be gone, destroyed by children that had no sense of the world His own childhood being taken by people who just didn't understand him. He was tired of playing these childish games. So tired of fooling people with some fake childhood.

"Maybe it's time for a nap?" The woman he was biting hissed out, ripping her hand from his mouth. Squall kicked as he was raised in the air, his train ripped from his arms. Luckily, it wasn't handed down to Reid, but placed high up when not even he could get it with the aid of a chair. Screaming, Squall was brought into a back room where many mats on the floor, lined into rows. His own had a blue blanket brought from his home. Squall scowled as he was laid down.

He had no intention of napping. He wasn't tired. When he was tired, he usually degraded mentally, becoming the child he looked. He threw tantrums, made noises of no value, and sounded like the rest of the children in that daycare. Squall knew what was wrong. He was emotionally tired of acting. He was ready to just be himself. The only thing he could think of was running. He needed to get out of Esthar, away from everything it stood for.

Closing his eyes, Squall evened his breathing falling into an act he'd become so familiar with.

As he planned, not long after the staff worker disappeared, leaving him in a faintly lit room. Sitting up, Squall grabbed a plush chair in the corner, pushing it towards the window to get a look around his surroundings. A thin piece of plastic promised to keep the window locked, but Squall's bright mind made quick work of it, sliding the window open. He could taste his freedom.

Glancing back at the room, at his mat and the blue blanket, Squall dropped his head. Shame crept up his chest, but he still took one deep breath, climbed on the ledge and made a final leap for his freedom.

SeeD training kicked in, causing him to land on a firm knee with his arm extended forward, palm down. With strength he didn't know existed, he propelled himself forward, darting across the street, disappearing into oblivious crowds. His small mind tried to form a map from memory, attempting to recall every transit, every road, ever building that took him to the railway systems that would take him to Fisherman Horizon.

If memory served him right, in two days the gates would be closed. The senate had voted that foreign aid was no longer needed, the monster infestation almost eliminated. SeeD were in transit, giving him plenty of chance to join them and take refuge in Winhill where Ellone was. She would never patronize him. She knew what kind of hero he was, she would raise him in only a mirror of his past life. She would give him his gunblade back!

He nearly tripped over his feet when her realized he wasn't going anywhere near the transits. His guess was that if he did continue, he could make it to the lower level car lot, but not the train railways. Laguna had never brought him to this area, probably because the man had never been in it. Like the downtown area of Deling City, with older buildings pushing against each other, blocking out the hazing sun overhead. It made him nervous, finally taking into consideration of what position he stood.

A small child in a seedy environment.

Freezing, Squall ducked into an alley when he heard the hearty laugher of a drunk man. Dropping to his bottom, Squall pulled his legs to his chest and waited. The sounds of people became a plusing in his ears. Doors opened the number rose. His breathing slowed. His thoughts scrambled, blaming himself for even coming out. What if he was really lost and some sick pervert picked up? This would be the end of Squall Leonhart? Lost on the streets of Esthar? Stepped on by drunkards?

His thoughts spiraled out of control fast as the first tear drop escaped. He wanted Laguna…

A door opened near him followed by the lid of a trash compacter opening. "What the…"

Glancing up, Squall was shocked to see the same blonde he'd only seen in passing earlier. His voice hitched into a nervous squeak as he pushed against the building trying to hide from what could be a dangerous situation.

"…Squall?"

His eyes widened. Behind that ratty beard was a face he only dreamt of seeing again. "Seifer!"


	6. The Stranger

He'd seen images of the boy all over the news, especially considering who his adoptive father was, but he never dreamt that the same child would be sitting at his table with a fist full of macaroni. To be honest, it reminded him of a simpler time when he and Squall actually could stand each other's presence long enough to have long conversations about what the instructor had done. Rubbing his ragged chin, Seifer dropped the wash rag he'd been using to clean up a spill his houseguest had made in the sink.

"You got your fill?"

"'Ater."

"Huh?"

"Can I have some water?"

Smirking, Seifer reached for the cupboard where'd he stored chipped glasses from work. Reaching for the one vividly imprinted for  _'Galbadia Rum: The Commander's Choice!_  He tapped his foot playfully. "Do you have the ability to have some water?"

Squall scowled, his bottom lip protruding. "May I have some water, asshole?"

"Do you kiss your father with that mouth?" Seifer snickered, filling the cup with tap water. He had to wait a few seconds with the tap running, since the first drops were pure rust. "It'll have a weird aftertaste." He warned, placing the glass in front of Squall.

Grabbing the glass between two sticky hands, Squall took a big gulp and stuck his tongue out in distaste before taking three more gulps. He must have been thirsty, Seifer noted. When he'd found his old friend burrowed in trash, his first thought was another adoptive parent thrown out one of his beloved brothers and sisters, but considering the well-dressed nature of Squall and his tear stained cheeks, the blonde realized that instead Squall had broken under the pressure of having a family.

"So…" Seifer dropped in a lawn chair opposite of Squall. "…What brings you to my humble abroad?"'

Squall turned away, grabbing his fork in an awkward hold. He ate for a while before taking a smaller drink of his rust-flavored water. "I don't know anymore."

"Really?" Seifer raised a brow. "Because you certainly scared the shit out of my boss. He thought that I'd kidnapped you or something, oh presidential son. Great grab by the way, best an orphan can do."

Squall's eyes shifted away again. "I don't know what to do anymore. He's my father, Seifer. My _actual_  father!" Seifer felt his heart jump at this. At one point he and Squall had attempted an extensive search for their biological parents but never came up with anything. That stupid child placement service always failed where it mattered most. "I'm not ready to have a father. Or a mother. Or…I want to go back to the way things were!"

"Squall…" Seifer licked his dry lips. "You were just as unhappy at Balamb as I was. Do you really want to go back?"

"At least I knew what was expected of me! Work for pay, die in battle. Our lives were laid out and now I have to worry about where I'm going to be taking a nap! I don't want this! Can't you get Ultimacia or someone to just finish me off!" Squall threw his fork to the floor in rage. Seifer groaned at the splatter left behind.

 _So that's what had happened_. He had a feeling Ultimacia wasn't going to die in peace. "Does it look like I work for her? I'm sorry, let me get my servants to clean that mess up. Garden scum! Clean this mess up! You dare defy me! Do you know who I am! I am Seifer Almasy, the Sorceress' Knight!" Chest puffed forward to look bigger, Seifer finally exhaled returning to his slump defeated posture. "She fucked all of us over, Squall."

"Some more than others," Squall snorted.

"Thank you for noticing my situation. Promised fame and respect, I received infamy and scorn. Chased from my own home by my own family I work as a bartender in the day but at night, low and behold, I am Knightman, Hero of the People (unlike a certain SeeD currently destroying my secret lair) ! Saving lost children from the streets of Esthar, the zit on Hyne's as-ah!"

At some point during his speech, he'd climbed on his lawn furniture, giving himself stature he needed to be the hero he proclaimed only to have the already wobbly seat give out under his weight. With a startled yell, he crashed to the floor where, minutes later, a sound of tapping from the apartment under was heard.

From the table, Squall squealed in delight, clapping his hands as he laughed. From the floor, Seifer felt a smile take his face. The first honest one he'd been able to give since his whole misadventure had started.  _There's the boy I once knew_. "You think that's funny?" Throwing himself up, he grabbed Squall, tackling the boy to the ground in a fury of tickles. _The things I do to make puberty boy happy._

* * *

Laguna had never run so fast in his life. Being chased by a Ruby Dragon was nothing compared to getting a frantic call from the people he trusted his son's life with. He couldn't comprehend how fifteen grown women could lose one child, but then he remembered that it was his  _nineteen-year-old son_  who'd ran away and not one of the other children. Squall could survive out on the streets for several days if left to his own devices. The thing that scared Laguna, however, was the fact that it was his son who had disappeared.

Because as much as he was loved by the people of Esthar as their president, he still had political enemies that wanted him out of office.

The first woman he saw when he made it to the daycare center was the owner, a sweet woman he may have thought of dating his youth. "Mrs. Goma! Where is my son?" He stopped short of her, his upper body dropping as he fought to catch his breath.

"Most of the girls are out looking for him, Mr. President. I am so sorry this happened, Sarah had thought he was tired since he was throwing tantrums three hours ago and when she went to check on him later, he was gone. That was two hours ago. We've been looking since."

"He's been missing for three hours?" Laguna hissed. "Why did you tell me this sooner?" He could have joined them in their search. He was, at that time, on his lunch break. Now he was missing an important meeting with the chief engineer for the invisible gate around Esthar.

"We didn't want to alarm you—"

"He could be anywhere now!" Laguna screamed. A warm hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, turning his head to stare over at Kiros. "Kiros they—"

"Squall wouldn't have gotten far. I've already ordered the transporters leaving to the Fisherman Horizon halfway point be checked, the loading bay is being turned upside down, all gates are being monitored as well. He's still in Esthar."

Taking a deep, ragged breath, Laguna pushed hair from his face. "We've just learned about it Kiros. If Squall doesn't want to be found, he's  _trained_  not to be." He ignored the confused look from the childcare provider. "The only other place I could think of him going, I doubt he's at."

"If there's a possibility," Kiros whispered, "it should be checked."

"How far from here is Haine's Pub?" Laguna looked over at the woman. "I know there's an access point here to walk to downtown Esthar."

"Why would he be at a pub?" Kiros frowned. "He couldn't drink then he certainly can't drink now."

"He wouldn't have gone for a pint, Kiros. Where's Ward? He usually knows the way. We've always just got there from Market, never from First District. Seifer," Laguna glowered, "he works there. If he of walked this street at some point, Squall would have seen him. He's always at the gate when I come get him…"

The woman rubbed her chin. "Squall seemed more interested in the gate today. He usually leaves the gate alone until fourteen hundred, when you usually come back. He was people watching. We didn't think too much of it, he's such a quiet child to begin with so we just assumed he was trying to understand his new environment. He might have seen someone or…" The woman went pale, "or someone could have seen him. Oh goodness, no one's checked the window for tampering. I mean. It was open and…" She was starting to hyperventilate.

"Relax." Laguna pulled his portable communicator out. "I'm not going to report you or anything. I doubt Squall was kidnapped and if he sets his mind to something, he'll outsmart anyone. I thought he was behaving too friendly to be normal. Manipulative little bugger." The last sentence was said to himself as he gazed off. "Ward, how do I get to Haine's Pub?"

Kiros rubbed his temples. "Laguna, he's mute. What do you expect a response over…"

"Right, thanks man." Hanging up, Laguna smiled. "He said go into downtown, turn left two blocks down and a right where there's another underground path. Let's go!" The man started up ahead. Kiros just shook his head and followed after. "I'm starting to wonder if I can do this, Kiros."

"Do what?" The dark skinned man glanced over.

"Raise him by myself. I'm almost fifty. How am I supposed to rough it out with him when he hits his teens?"

Chuckling, Kiros shook his head. "I doubt you'll have to physically fight him." He sobered up quickly, a shift of his arms told Laguna that his friend was grabbing his  _katars_  from their protective sheathes under all his robes. It always made him feel weak when Kiros became his bodyguard, a reminder of his change from foot soldiers to politician. It had taken him months to get into the wave of not needing his gun but Kiros had never gotten over that fear. "Do you think he'd of seen Seifer? Out of the millions of people he had to find Seifer so suddenly?"

"Squall's only thoughts are of himself and Seifer. Damn if he wouldn't have followed Seifer to hell just to drag him back." Laguna stopped short of an intersection. His blue eyes darkened. "I know it sounds like I am grasping straws, but I'd rather he be looking for Seifer. Found Seifer than being found by Nagumi or Uysa." Old secretaries of Adel's regime, they were his biggest adversaries to that day. One or the other was always vying against him in elections or publically chastising his laws. They were, perhaps, the biggest thorns in his side.

"I'm sure they wouldn't sink that low." Kiros shook his head. "That is so juvenile. I'm sure he just went for a walk or something. Maybe he's on his way back to the presidential palace as we speak."

"…" Laguna smirked, continuing forward. "Haine's Pub. We should become back after Squall goes to sleep."

"You have a meeting in the morning, you always hit  _The Commander_  hard."

"You're such a killjoy." Laguna pushed open the door, his eyes scanning the floor quickly. Besides a couple of residential drunks, the bar was empty. Stepping down into the room, the president approached the fixing table where the familiar Haine's stocked the shelves. It was one of the reasons why Laguna and his friends had been here before, the fact that although the place wasn't as top notch as the one above level, Haine's sold a brew made in his own shop. With several variants of the brew, there was always one for every person. He also, however, sold a variety of more known brands.

The man nearly dropped a small pint when he saw Laguna. "Mr. President!"

"Relax, I'm looking—"

"He, he…Seifer's a good boy, no matter what my wife says. Please don't have him carted off. I trust that he just found your kid, I…"

Holding up his hands, Laguna laughed. "I guess you know why I'm here then. See, I told you this was a good place to check!" Kiros rolled his eyes. "Where'd they go?"

"Up to his apartment, it's on the third floor above my apartments. It was my wife's idea," the man chuckled, "to help people on the streets. Seifer is renting it. He's a good boy."

Nodding, Laguna looked towards a small walkway leading towards the upper apartments. The upstairs ended with a ladder leading up towards an attic apartment. Groaning, Laguna pulled himself up to a ledge. "You stay down there, Kiros." The dark skinned man gave his friend an annoyed look before a Galbadian salute was exchange. Smiling, Laguna returned it before climbing to his feet. It was a narrow space, causing him to have to duck his head, but the patchwork along the modeling proved that the room, or apartment, was at least slightly higher.

Rapping his knuckles across the thin door, Laguna jumped when he was responded to with a squeal of delight. It felt almost foreign and yet familiar at the same time. Squall's voice, he finally realized. Squall's laughter. Annoyed, the brunette tried again. After what felt like an eternity, the door was opened before slammed shut again. "Damn it, Almasy! I'm not here for your head!"

"I won't go back!"

"Open up, Seifer!" Laguna beat on the door. The door opened again and Squall was pushed out, surprised as can be as the door was shut and latched. Dropping to his knee, Laguna grabbed Squall's shoulders to look over the boy. He looked feed, if the crusted cheese on his face was anything to go by. "You scared me…"

Squall shifted.

"Squall, you have to promise me you won't run away again."

"You knew."

"Huh?"

Squall's gray-blue eyes were narrowed in distaste. "You found this place really easy. You knew where he was." It was Laguna's turn to look away, feeling shamed. Tiny fist tightened before Squall turned to the door beating it frantically. Surprisingly enough, the door opened and the boy was tugged. Again the door was slammed shut, locking Laguna out.

Taking a deep breath, Laguna sat on the ground. Pulling his communicator out, the man pressed it to his ear. Ward wouldn't be happy but there was no way he was going to be able to make it back.

Back pressed against the door, Laguna rubbed his temples. Today had not been his day. "So, I'm guessing you already know who that is." It was said mostly to himself, but he received a grunt from inside the room. "Look, Squall. I knew he was here, but he obviously doesn't want to be found. Couldn't you respect that wish?" He didn't hear anything from inside, not even the shuffling of people. "Look, Squall. If this isn't going to work out, just tell me."

"Let me just take care of myself."

"You can't do that Squall." His head fell against the cool wood. "You need help."

"Let me stay with Seifer then."

"…I don't want him." Seifer snorted. "He'd eat me out of house and home."

"Seifer!"

Laguna stifled his own laugh. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Squall, you're my son and I'm starting to really want to raise you like a father. My reluctance is gone, that's why I was so scared when I heard you'd run away. I thought you were  _kidnapped_  for crying out loud. Do you know how many guards I sent looking for you? Squall…I was actually worried that something bad had happened to you."

"I don't want to go there." Squall finally whispered, placing his demands on the table. "I want to stay at home."

Home? Laguna's eyes widened. Squall considering the condo his home was always a good step towards normalcy. "I can't leave you there alone and you already chased away all the nannies."

"I won't chase away the next. Just…don't make me go back. It's  _demeaning_. I tried, Laguna. I can't be a child. I can't use holophrases. I can't sing songs about colors. I can't think of things on a scale of black and white to avoid questions about where I came from. Let me stay at home."

Grabbing a fist full of hair, Laguna closed his eyes. He had to admit, putting Squall in that daycare had only been a method for him to get alone time. He was so tired of being called by nannies persistently demanding he control his bundle of energy. That and there was no one else to call. Squall's name had spread around. The boy was considered a lost cause. "I can't take you with me to work."

"…Let me take care of him."

"What?" Father and son exclaimed at once.

The door opened, causing Laguna to fall back. From his place on the ground, Laguna could only watch in amazement at Seifer's stern face. "Let me…watch over Puberty Boy. It's my fault he's in this state."

Pushing himself on his elbows, Laguna sighed. "It's no one but Ultimacia's fault, boy. I was serious when I said that I wouldn't sic Squall on you. No crime is worth that punishment. I won't send you to Balamb or Galbadia or…I won't send you anywhere out west. Esthar isn't as…trying against the knights. Or rather, they're mystical creatures. No much is known about you, Almasy. Not in Esthar. You're salvation is here until the news cools out there." His frowned, watching his son. Squall shifted nervously. "Squall." The boy looked away. "Squall, if you have to pee just say so."

"It's this way…" Seifer led the boy into a small room with just a toilet. Squall disappeared, door shutting behind him. "There's a lot different about him."

Laguna nodded. "He's changed. I don't want you to involve yourself and watch his condition deteriorate or something."

"Deteriorate?"

"Yes," said Laguna as he pulled himself to his feet. Brushing his knees, Laguna moved over to a lawn chair, mindful of one already broken in the middle of the tiny studio apartment. "I-"

He quieted as the door opened and Squall walked out, face stained with tears. His lap was equally as wet. Seifer's jaw dropped. "I…I…I couldn't get up…" Squall wrapped his arms around Laguna's waist.

"Sh. Sh. I'll have Kiros run back to the daycare and get your bags. Come here." Laguna picked Squall up, ignore the hot wetness pressing against him. Carrying the boy to the sink, the president set the boy on the only free counter. Faucet on, he waited for the water to clear up before dabbing his fingers under the faucet. "Do you have a rag, Almasy?"

"Um, yea." Seifer reached through a bag, pulling out a blue field towel. Taking it, Laguna returned to Squall, working on cleaning his tear stained face. "Do you want me to get this Kiros or…?"

"Yes, please call him. He's downstairs." Seifer nodded, disappearing for a few seconds. He returned trailed by the dark skinned man, already carrying a dark blue bag.

"The search was called off," Kiros explained, dropping the bag on the table. "We collected his things. You gave us quite a scare." He ran his hand through the boy's messy hair. Squall growled, kicking at him. "Hasn't had a nap, I'm guessing."

"Probably not. Hands up, Squall." The boy did as he was instructed, mumbling that he didn't need help cleaning up. He didn't fight it however as he was pull from his clothes and cleaned appropriately before redressed, dressed in training pads rather than underwear. Stuffing the soiled clothes in the backpack, Laguna hefted Squall into his arms carefully rocking him. The room remained silent, all eyes on the scene as Laguna carefully moved towards Seifer's cot silently asking if he could use it. Seifer nodded.

Instead of immediately dumping Squall, Laguna continued walking around. His hand tapped Squall's padded bottom as he rocked until he finally stopped at the bed and carefully placed the sleeping child down. "He changes, Seifer. When he's tired or hungry, or even just agitated. It's becoming more and more frequent and he isn't aware of it."

Seifer's gaze remained fixed on Squall, sucking his thumb as he slept. "Please let me help."

"What?"

"He wants normalcy of his own. He wants something to be the same. Let me be selfish and take care of him when he needs it. I can change my schedule and stay with him during your work hours – free of charge. Please, President Loire. He's…he was my brother, my friend…I can't just leave. Not again. If what you say is true and he slowly is really becoming a child, let me stay in Squall Leonheart's final days. Please, you can send me to trials after that."

Laguna bit his lip, unsure what to say. Taking Seifer in to help Squall might make the boy happy but he still had so many foreign troops in Esthar. News could spread, wars could start…

"Let him, Laguna."

Jumping, the man turned to his friend. "But…"

"You said Squall was only thinking of him, well let your son have his last request. He wants Almasy – alive. He wants his last friend. He might never get to see the others again, it wouldn't be right to let his last memories of his oldest friend be those of war. I'd certainly of hated my last memories of you being you're smiling face after throwing Ward and I off the cliff."

"…I was just helping." Laguna smiled. "Fine." Seifer perked up. "But I'm not paying your therapist afterwards."

"I understand."

"Oh no, you don't." Kiros chuckled.


	7. The Friend

Seifer probably didn't know what he was getting into when he signed up to babysit Squall. That was probably why Laguna was also skeptical about the teen's abilities. Instead of going straight to work like a good president, he stood in front of Seifer with his arms over his broad chest repeating a list of instructions of what to, and what not to, do with Squall. Honestly, a potion always fixed things. And if Squall was stupid enough to stuff his mouth with more than he could chew, than good riddance. "Trust me, President Loire, Squall will be fine."

 

Laguna's eye twitched. "Trust you? I can barely tolerate having you in my presence right now." Seifer winced. He'd heard from Kiros that the work for removing any traces of Lunatic Pandora had just begun and the paperwork was alarming. Unable to blame Odine (the man had a habit of disappearing when his ass was on the line), it left Laguna with Seifer. "Make sure Squall gets a nap. He gets cranky and once I'm off work we're going grocery shopping. Also, Squall has a habit of hiding whatever he doesn't want to eat under the rug. Make sure he stays at the table with his drinks, he spilt chocolate milk all over my study the other day."

"Beat into submission, understood." Seifer sent his best Galbadian salute towards the man. He wasn't prepared for a drawer to quickly open and the revolver of a gun to be pressed firmly against his lips. Hands up, Seifer felt his heartbeat quicken. He wasn't armed, he wasn't ready. No one had told him the President would have a gun…in so close of range to an angry toddler.

"You insult what I fought for." Laguna hissed.

"I'm sorry." Seifer whispered.

"'ant milk…"

Both men jumped, having not heard Squall's door open. The child stood in his pajamas, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking much younger than he usually did. The gun disappeared faster than Seifer could say his own last name and Laguna was bent on one knee. "Did you have a good night?"

"Fly…" Squall murmured. "Squall fly." With help, he was put on a chair. Seifer busied himself at fetching a cup of milk. When Squall was all settled in with toast and milk, Laguna crossed his arms again.

"I'll be back at fifteen hundred, but if something comes up I'll give you a call. He doesn't get a lot of sweets, but he'll demand it. Also, after his nap he watches television. He'll show you how to work it. Just help him with what he needs make sure he takes his naps, and make sure he cleans his messes. I'm going now, Squall." The man ruffled the boy's hair. "You behave now."

Squall didn't respond, not fully awake as he nursed a sippy cup in flimsy hands. It was one of the few things Laguna had warned him that Seifer was taking to heart. Squall didn't have the motor skills he had before. His inability to hold a heavy cup stable required the assistance of a lid, which normally annoyed the nineteen-year-old Squall. Little Squall, on the other hand, didn't care. It appeared early in the morning Little Squall was out to play. With a tilt of his head, a friendly smile etched on his face, Laguna left the room to go to work.

"No more daycare?" Squall whispered. He seemed almost scared.

"No more of that place, Puberty Boy. Just you, me, and whatever tasks your daddy throws at us. Whatever you want to do, I'm yours."

Squall's eyes narrowed in thought. Jumping from his seat (and nearly falling over in the process), Squall rushed to his room. He returned a few seconds later carrying two padded gunblade molds. "Can we train?" He showed Seifer the other blade. It was modeled after the Revolver, the one in Squall's arms looking more like the Lionheart. It made Seifer smile, raising the foam toy up to investigate the weapon. "Well…" Squall perked up, ready to hear an affirmative from the only person willing to try with him. "…I suppose we can try to find some grounds in this rat nest and duke it out some. After you get cleaned and ready of course."

Looking down at his pajamas, Squall caressed the breast pocket on it. There, Seifer noted, was a chocobo patch. "It looks just like Choco." He smiled brightly. "I never showed you Choco!" With a dash, Squall returned to his room. He stumbled out again with his arms full of toys. Dropping to the floor, Squall spread the toys out in front of him. "This is Choco!" He held up a stuffed chocobo. "He's my best friend."

"Aw, I thought I was your best friend?" Seifer smirked, bending to one knee. The bird was deposited in his hands.

Squall's stopped moving. His eyes clouded over in thought as his head tilted back. "I…Seifer is also my friend." Without another thought, Squall held up a piece of wooden building blocks. It was an aged block, perhaps one of many similar ones. Seifer smiled as his friend explained he had more blocks just like that one, which Ward had found at some sale a while back. "I think Matron used to have some of these." The blond shrugged in uncertainty as Squall fumbled with naming the rest of his things. "…I have more in my room. Do you want to see them?"

"The President really does spoil you." Seifer smiled. "I don't think you've ever had this many toys collectively in your life. I mean, personally of course. The playroom at the Garden has a lot, but it wasn't  _ours_." Although, if memory served correctly, a lot of the toys did go missing over time, often finding new homes in the children's dorms. Usually the Garden Staff turned a blind eye to that behavior.

Squall held Choco to his chest, unable to meet Seifer's eye. "I guess. He's supposed to though. He owes me."

 _Little Shit._  Seifer rubbed his temples. "Material things only mean so much." But he had a feeling that Squall already knew that. It was the child in Squall that had to show off all the things he was receiving. It was the man in the boy that didn't feel justified about being abandoned. "Come on, go brush your teeth or I'll just go home."

"No! Battle!" All of his toys, except for the stuffed chocobo, were abandoned in the kitchen as Squall darted back in his room. With a shake of his head, Seifer began picking up the toys, pushing his way into the child's room. He made quick work of making Squall's bed, pulling out a clean set of clothes, and opening the blinds. He never noticed Squall entering the room again. "So you're going to be my nanny now?"

"Ch, hardly. A nanny is usually paid. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart considering you're an escape artist in the works." Seifer frowned, looking through the brunette's shelves. "Do you wear underwear?"

"I can dress myself!" Squall rushed over to Seifer, pushing on the man's leg towards the door. "Get out of my room! Never come in my room!"

"But you asked me to come see your toys!" Seifer dropped to his knees where Squall's toy chest was. With a low whistle, Seifer shuffled through the collection. "It's been what, six months since time compression? How did you accumulate so many toys so quickly?"

Shuffling on his feet, Squall looked away. "They're given to me?"

"You've never asked for one?"

"Just the blades and Choco." Squall frowned. "I don't really understand it," he finally admitted, "I hate playing with toys, but…sometimes I see something and I just have to have it. Laguna doesn't know how to say 'no' yet and Ward and Kiros are like those uncles we always heard of. You know; the ones that could buy their nieces and nephews everything because they don't have kids of their own? Yeah well, they get me toys. Or Zell finds the latest thing in town. Quistis sent me the blocks. She told me about us having them at one time. Thought it'd be cute or something, I don't remember…Don't look, I'm getting changed."

Keeping his back turned, Seifer rummaged through the toys. He'd never even heard of half the things that Squall was given. What was a child going to do with so many electronic toys? Hell, he was happy with the toy train they had back at the orphanage. In fact, besides a few stuffed animals, there wasn't really wasn't any toys Seifer was familiar with there. "No books?"

"…I got a few." The sound of someone jumping around almost got Seifer to turn his head, but he kept his attention focus elsewhere to give Squall his privacy. "I can't get my pants to button."

Stifling a laugh, Seifer helped his friend. "All done! Do you want anything else to eat?"

"No way, I'm going to kick your ass in a fight!" Squall shouted, tucking his chocobo in his pocket.

"Language, Squall. I don't think Laguna appreciates that mouth." With a pleasant smile, one he usually used to frighten people (although it never worked on Squall), Seifer tilted his head to the side. "But I suppose we can go wash your dirty mouth out with soap, Squallie-!" He jeered lightly.

With a hiss, Squall jumped back. The chocobo bounced off of Seifer's head. "And don't call me Squallie!"

"Right, right, Ice Princess."

"It's Commander to the likes of you!" The doll hit Seifer again, but the man could only laugh as he escaped from the room.

* * *

It was unfair, sure, but Seifer could always remind Squall that the boy had won three of their last battles. Besides, the obvious height difference made Seifer a shoe-in for victor. With a loud shout, the blond raised his arms to display his muscles. "And all it took was holding Squall back!" He laughed. The child huffed, grabbing the hem of his shirt. Oh yes, pushing back on Squall's head to keep an arms distance between his body and Squall's feverous attacks was playing dirty, but Seifer was tired of fair fights.

Throwing his blade to the ground, Squall stomped his foot. "You're a big smelly cheater!" He shouted.

"Not just a smelly one, I'm a  _big_  one? Is that 'cause you're so short?" Seifer mocked. God, he missed these days. He felt like a three-year-old pushing a child in sand. Faintly he could see Squall looking back up at him with watery eyes. "Well maybe if you agreed to come in and eat lunch, we wouldn't have had that final battle."

"I don't want carrots-!" Squall sobbed.

"I was joking about the carrots. Yesh! You're worse than Zell." Rubbing his temples, Seifer threw his head back. "We'll have celery instead."

Sniffling, Squall made a disgusted face. "No veggies!"

"Either carrots or celery." And Quistis said he was no good with children. He just didn't like the spoiled ones that Balamb received every so often; acting like the academy was some boarding school that gave them prestige instead of an orphanage for children whose parents just couldn't afford another mouth to feed. "I'll even give you some dressing to dip them in." With his cards out on the table, Seifer waited for Squall to think the offer over.

"…Will you join me in Gesz Joe's Fun Show?" Squall piped up.

Seifer thought this through. How easy. He got Squall to eat food that Laguna wanted and all he had to do was watch some kid show that Squall just pulled out of his ass? Although the name did sound familiar, Seifer could just smile. He was patient even to live through thirty minutes of vibrant colors and stupid questions just to make Squall happy. "Sure! Let's go in first, getting kind of hot out here."

"…" Squall blocked his eyes, staring overhead. "I wonder if it ever rains here."

"Probably not like in Balamb, so maybe once every few months."

With a blink of his eye, Squall murmured, "Reminds me of the orphanage."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Seifer started back towards the private lift to take them into the palace. "I mean we're pretty close in landscape to Centra." Ignoring Squall's cries about pushing the button, Seifer started the lift, keeping a firm hand on Squall's shoulder as they were lifted out of the private gardens. Even after months of living in the futuristic city, Seifer found it hard to get used to the lifters. He had rather walk to and from places that ride on one of the ingenious inventions of Odine. However, sometimes that was all he was limited to.

On his knees, Squall stared wide eyed as the ground disappeared under him. Seifer's grip tightened as his belly shifted. "Can I tell you something?" The brunette's voice was uneven, quaking even past his childish fascination with the rapid speed of the transport.

"Sure."

"I won't be here forever. Always treat me like you used to." With one last smile towards Seifer, Squall's attention returned to rapidly waving at guards they passed over. To the boy's bemusement, some waved back.

Seifer could only ponder what Squall was talking about.

* * *

Getting Squall down for a nap was the easy thing. Keeping the boy entertained was a whole other matter. Seifer really wasn't good with children in that matter, but when it came to Squall the blonde wasn't one to skimp from his job. It surprised him that, out of all the complex toys he had, all the boy wanted was pen, a piece of paper, and a cup without a lid. Thirty minutes later, Seifer had five new drawings of possible gunblade models and one nice blocky lighthouse so he "wouldn't lose his way again".

The newest picture was probably the most confusing though, Seifer realized as he sat himself on the opposite side of the table with his own sheet of paper (stolen from Laguna's study, of course). He'd been drawing up his own gunblade when Squall's drawing grab his attention. At two, Squall wasn't an artist by any stretch of the word. He was, however, a godsend at trying to explain his point where words failed to. This newest creation, however, couldn't find a place in Seifer's mind.

"What's that?" He finally asked, trying to distinguish the long horizon line, square structures, and stick figures.

Squall's brows etched together. "Dun know." He finally said after some time, putting smiles on all the stick figures but one. That one, Seifer decided, had to be Puberty Boy. After a long internal battle, Squall sliced the frowning one across the face. "Saw it during my nap."

"Looks like Dollet." Seifer frowned. Yeah, he finally relented. That's what it looked like if that was supposed to be a satellite dish on a tall mountain. He counted the number of stick figures – five. Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Seifer, and Squall. "I wasn't smiling during any of that."

"You were in my dream." Squall kicked his feet out. "It was all scary like though. There was big booms and little booms and a big robot. Have you ever seen a big robot?"

It was Seifer's turn to have his eyebrows knot together. "Squall, that was X-ATMO92. He attacked after we took to tower. That idiot Wedge summoned him. Don't you remember?"

The pen in the brunette's hand slowed before the boy continued making what was supposed to be the robotic spider. "Stupid Seifer, I've never been to Dollet and I'd remember if I fought an Ex-ATM-Thingy." Shaking his head, Squall scratched out one of the block figures, but it wasn't his older image. Reaching forward, Seifer dropped his index finger on the stick image of Squall.

"That's you."

Squall twitched. "Nuh uh. That's a guy in my dream. Stupid Seifer." The drawing was crumpled up and thrown over the boy's shoulder to join a pile of other failed drawings. "I hope I never grow up to be like him, he was so mean." The last part was whispered as if it was the biggest secret ever.

Exhaling sharply, Seifer shook his head and stood. "Right. I'm going to make you a light snack." Opening the refrigerator, the man grunted. "There's really no food in here."

"Laguna never goes shopping."

"You should call him 'dad'." Seifer muttered. "Think you can live with a grilled cheese sandwich?" When the boy didn't make any obvious noise of dislike, Seifer went about that task until he heard Squall's chair scrapping across the floor. The boy, Seifer noted from the corner of his eye, fell face first into the couch. Shaking his head, Squall crawled around it, trying to find the remote. He found it between the couch cushions, probably where he'd hidden it the night before.

To Seifer's surprise, a wall panel light up as an HD television, Squall shifted through the channels until he came across a clown-like image that would forever haunt the blonde's dreams. The clown rolled across the techno colored stage stopped with a playful cheer, "Guess what time it is!"

In a shout that Seifer didn't know Squall possessed, the boy jumped around, "Gesz Joe's Fun Show!"

"That's right kids! And today we're going to my Aunt GeGe's house! Are we excited?"

"Yea!" Squall bounced around as a new song was introduced to teach basic exercise moves. The show, Seifer decided, was likely aimed for four to five year olds as Squall's small frame wasn't able to do all the moves, but his advance mind made it easier not to get lost in just the bright colors. Why didn't he have a video camera? This was something he could have made millions off of. "Jump! Jump! Jump!" Squall did as instructed, grabbing the table to keep from falling. Seifer smirked, going back to working on snack. He'd wait until Squall was done to tell the boy that it was time to eat.

Meanwhile, he busied himself by making a grocery list for Laguna or Kiros, or whoever bought food because it was a wonder why child services had yet to be called.

"Turn. Turn. Turn."

Did Squall steal eat carrots? Children were known to hate their vegetables, but Squall never was a 'normal' child. Maybe he hated them now? Not caring enough to ask, Seifer wrote that down before checking the pantries. "How the hell did he keep you alive this long?"

"Pizza!"

Jumping, Seifer looked towards Squall. He wasn't sure if that was said towards the video screen or to him, either way he didn't like it. "Right; the primary food group for all bachelors – pizza." He rolled his eyes. Leave it to Laguna to completely throw off a mercenary diet of 'whatever was left after Hurricane Zell ripped through the cafeteria'.

Although he was a big fan of vegetable medley, even if he couldn't identify half of what he was bringing to his mouth. "Maybe I should suggest a cook? I mean all I can see your sperm donor doing is burning the entire palace to the ground. No offense, Squall, but it's a miracle you weren't born with two left feet."

The boy was holding the table again, bouncing around in a stirring motion. Seifer's brows shot up, noting the pure determination on Squall's face. The television show was starting to make a little sense if the boy really had been eating nothing but pizza. The mercenary in their blood wouldn't allow even an ounce of baby fat come on their bones. No one wanted a chunky mercenary. "My…mother…wasn't…" The child was panting, trying to keep up with a pace far too fast for his tiny body. "…Laguna's…just…Laguna…" He muttered matter-of-factly, probably something he'd heard Kiros say.

"Those traits are genetic, you know." Seifer smirked as Squall came to a stop. "Maybe that's why you were always quiet. Lord knows if you spoke stupid would probably just fall out."

Little hands tightened on the glass table as tiny shoulders hunched. "You don't know anything, that's why you'll always be stupid."

"See, can't even come up with a good comeback." Seifer shook his head. "We should just get you a pacifier. Come fight me again in sixteen years, maybe then you'll stand a chance."

"I kicked your ass before I'll do it again!" Squall stomped his foot down.

"Oh yeah?" Seifer put his pen down. Squall was slowly starting to replace Zell as his favorite play thing. "Whatcha going to do about it, Puberty Boy?"

Tiny fist shook before the child turned around with a huff, bottom lip extended. "Just you wait," his promise was barely audible.

As Squall was always a force when it came to revenge. Seifer nearly had a heart attack when Laguna came back to Squall clamping on his leg screaming about Seifer touching his 'naughty bits'. With a shake of his head as everything was sorted out to Squall just being himself, Seifer promised to come back again. In the end, he did find it endearing to babysit his old rival.


	8. The Memories

The roaring of the engine seemed almost faint after the first hour on board the Legendary Ragnarok. For an old ship, it wasn't equipped with a sound muffler like the newer models of inner-space airships but it got the job done. This model had things the newer models didn't have, including a lot of space for the president to hide while attempting to do some of his work while Seifer attempted to control Squall.

Locking himself in the control room with the pilot, Laguna folded his left leg over his right, using his thighs as a firm table to sign his name at the bottom form. It would have been easier to do paperwork downstairs where Squall was currently deeming his play room, especially since each seat in the passenger wing had a hidden table in the chair in front but Laguna didn't want to chance Squall making art all over the general request forms for tax revenue to be used on upgrading the chair transporters. He loved Squall's…work of arts, but he doubted Minister Bradley would appreciate what could only be interpreted as a Malboro with blood shooting from its mouth.

"Sir?" The Captain shifted his head communicator back, freeing his ears from their confines. "We'll be arriving at Winhill in the next thirty minutes. Are you certain you don't want us landing in the green pastures?"

"One hundred percent." Laguna shuffled through his paperwork looking for Bradley's second request for an additional transporter taking only certain Estharians (preferably the upper class) to and from the shopping district. He dismissed the idea with a quick signature and date next to the "disapproved" stamp. "These are old fashioned folk, simple ones. They don't take to well with any kind of technology that could destroy the way of life their great, great grandfather's had. Besides, I don't want any flowers destroyed in our visit."

The visit had been a spur of the moment decision made at three that morning. Laguna didn't think anyone – especially Kiros – would let him leave Esthar on such short notice but, considering the weekend was  _his_  and Ward had promised to stay back and control the three-ring circus, Laguna was allowed his once in a lifetime trip with his son.

Normally, Laguna wouldn't have even thought of going back to Winhill. Raine wasn't there but Ellone was and the girl knew she was always welcome back in Esthar. Laguna, the man-child, wanted nothing to do with remembering the life he'd left behind. Just the thought of seeing Raine's grave solidified her death and the president was almost sure his emotional well-being wasn't ready for that. Squall, however, needed that trip. Laguna wouldn't have been up at three that morning had it not been for a nightmare the boy suffered an hour before.

Laguna wasn't used to having a child, no matter how natural he acted. When he woke up to a loud scream, his heart had stopped. At first he couldn't place it. Memories of war wrapped his brain as he tried to decipher where it was coming from. It wasn't until the same voice started screaming for 'daddy' did Laguna remembered that he had a son who, at that moment, needed him. He spent an hour trying to pacify the child who babbled endlessly about a dream that Laguna couldn't understand. The only thing that he knew was Squall wanted his mommy just as much as he wanted his daddy. His sleep-fused mind kept demanding for his mother, even though he'd never meet the woman. He had no memories of a person ever holding him as tightly as Laguna was that night. All the president knew was his son wanted to see the woman that birthed him and Laguna couldn't say no.

Besides, Kiros had argued over the breakfast table while finalizing their plans to leave Esthar in Ward's good hands the next few days, Laguna needed to come to terms with Raine's death. Of course, Laguna denied that accusation. He didn't need anyone reminding him that he was a lonely man who lost the woman he given his soul to. Seeing her grave was just going to be a reminder of everything he gave up because he could never say 'no'.

"Fifteen minutes until landing." The captain nodded towards Laguna. Piling his paperwork back in his briefcase, fully satisfied the paper section was done, Laguna strapped himself in properly. "This is the captain speaking, will all passengers please seat belt up. I repeat all—" His voice faded with the grind of the engine as the ship lowered altitude, gliding amongst the ground in preparation to stop way outside town. When the ship came to a stuttering halt, Laguna was quick to remove his belting to take a deep breath. "Please contact us over your communicator before leaving town tomorrow, sir. Are you sure you want no one to accompany you to town?"

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Laguna brushed his long hair behind his ear. "We'll be good. The monsters are weak out here; my automatic should make quick work of them." God, he needed the exercise more than he wanted to admit.

The pilot looked nervous about this but nodded his head in compliance as Laguna boarded to lift, allowing it to drop him to the next level where Squall was already waiting with his things looking like an impatient teenager than a nervous child. Not far away, Seifer shifted both his overnight back (Laguna didn't have the heart to tell him after tomorrow he'd be traveling to Balamb) and Squall's two bags of clothes and toys mixed.

"Ready to go see Ellone?" Laguna asked Squall, his voice filled with excitement.

Squall's hand tightened around the strap of his bang to relieve his anticipation. "I s'pose." The child whispered.

"Did he have a nap?" The question was directed at Seifer, who looked ready to pass out himself.

"Too excited. Don't let his indifferent attitude trick you. He's been talking about  _your_  memories for hours." Seifer reached for the last item Squall had left on the floor, Choco.

Laguna was about to comment when the door leading to the final floor slid open, Kiros stepping into the small chamber. "We've got the stairwell down. Looks like some rain is coming in so we might make it to town by the first few drops." Laguna bent down, picking Squall up. The child let out a noise, kicking his little feet to be put down. Laguna was unrelenting. If rain was coming, he didn't want to be straggling back waiting for Squall to catch up with the adult's long strides.

After a few minutes of walking, Squall stopped fighting Laguna's hold. His arms wrapped around Laguna's neck, his face hiding behind hair that probably needed to be pulled back in a ponytail. It took awhile for Laguna to realize the boy had finally fallen asleep on his shoulder, his grubby hands (dear lord, how did Squall find something  _sticky_?) tangled into Laguna's hair.

From the distance, the small town of Winhill crowed the horizon in all it's glory. Laguna nearly stopped in his place to stare at it. Surrounded by ominous clouds, it hadn't changed any since his days as a local monster hunter. Rows of colorful flowers brought travelers into the hungry mouth of a lone village. The main manor was easier to see, still overbearing in its stonework but next to it, like a breath of fresh air, was Raine's bar. Laguna picked up pace, leaving behind Kiros and Seifer to sneak a cigarette out of sight.

As he mounted the hill, a hundred meters from the town entrance, he was surprised to see Ellone's lone figure moving through the desolate town. The girl smiled, waving her arm excitedly as she made it over to Laguna. "Uncle, what are you doing all the way out here?" Her eyes brightened seeing Squall's prone figure. "Let's get back to my place before it starts raining." She waved towards Kiros, still at the bottom of the hill. "Is that Seifer?" She blinked, surprised.

"That? That's Squall nanny. Pay him no mind." Laguna shifted Squall in his arms. "Now, about that place." He smiled.

The girl nodded, taking the lead back to town. "Yeah, I moved back in my old place. Currently the lady who owns the bar is making a sell with me so I can convert Raine's home into an orphanage – rooms upstairs, a kitchen downstairs. I was going to connect the two buildings. I have already twelve kids in transit from the recent war, most are from Dollet." She side stepped a chocobo and Laguna made note for Squall to go out and play in the fields – under Seifer's supervision, of course. The monsters, he realized, weren't as rampant as they used to be. "How are you, Uncle Laguna?"

"I've been better." Laguna admitted. "Lot of work with the Lunar Cry and after effects of Squall's change. He's a difficult child. I've meet more women in my life who just wanted to be his nanny—"

"—To get in your bed for sure."

"Hush you but yeah, they want me. I'm not blind. Anyway, Squall's been going through nannies like whores at a Galbadian barrack." He shook his head, stopping just short of Ellone's old home. He frowned. "H…has it changed? I mean…"

"I redid the walls." Ellone nodded. "Put mama and papas pictures up there. The crib is still in the bedroom upstairs though." She nodded towards the stairs. Smiling, Laguna made his way up there. His mind was filled with memories of waking up there after months of having broken bones mended. He recalled staring long hours looking at the crib, trying to think of Ellone as a baby.

Lowering Squall in the crib, Laguna brushed his fingers through the boys hair. Silky like Raine's. He lowered his head, watching Squall sleep. Thumb in his mouth, the boy looked content. His free hand clenched before relaxing. A light drizzle started outside, catching Laguna's attention long enough to see Raine's smile in the mirror. Shaking his head, Laguna lowered his gaze, unable to find the willpower to return downstairs.

He sat at the foot of the crib, holding Squall's hands through the bars as he waited for his thoughts to stop flowing. He didn't move when his knees began to ache or Ellone entered the room to check on him. His eyes remained focus on the window, waiting for Raine's image to return. "I came to say my goodbyes." He finally admitted when he realized Ellone was still sitting in the room.

"She'd be happy about that. I bet she's waited years for Squall to stumble on her grave too." Her gaze flickered on Squall's prone form. "I still thank you for coming to visit, Uncle Laguna. Even if it was short notice."

"I won't overstay my welcome; I know the people here don't appreciate my…existence."

"I told them about Squall."

His eyes widened, looking up at the girl he considered his daughter. It was an unspoken rule that no one would ever know about Squall's predicament. Knowing led to questions and questions led to experiments. He brushed his thumb over Squall's palm, smiling when the hand instinctively closed around his finger. Ellone giggled over in her corner. "What did you tell them?"

"Everything." Ellone shifted her legs out. "They deserved that much. I told them about how you saved me from Esthar but ended up having to save an entire country. I told them about growing up on the boats and the newest Sorceress War. I told them about Raine's baby becoming a baby again. I bet if you went through town with him people would welcome Squall with open arms." _Squall_ , she said, not  _Laguna_. The older man shook his head. "I even told Raine all about it but I think she already knew. The flowers around her grave stone, according to Mrs. Kearry, are at the strongest bloom ever. They're the most beautiful by far."

Laguna nodded. He was sure Raine already knew but still. "I'm going to see her when the rain lets. We won't be here long, Squall's friends are throwing a party and have been begging that the  _hero_ give a grand appearance. I haven't told either of them of the stop." He smiled as Squall's brows furrowed the first sign of unrest since he started his nap. Slowly the child's lids opened, testing the waters of wake. "He won't be himself."

Ellone nodded. "I had a feeling when he first changed that it wasn't over. How old is he…mentally?"

Laguna wasn't able to give her an answer as Squall sat up, balling his fist into his eyes. His next wide look was at Ellone before at Laguna, begging to be picked up. Without question, Laguna did so, patting the boy's cushioned bottom. "Do you have to pee?" He asked out of obligation.

The boy rubbed his ear thoughtfully before shaking his head negative.

"I think you'd better try." Laguna gave his niece a questioning look if the toilets location had changed at all in the last two decades. She shook her head negatively and Laguna lead himself out, leading Squall to the toilet. He helped the boy on the seat before leaving the child to his privacy. "Sometimes," Laguna stared off, "he's nineteen. When he really tries he can be himself. That only last maybe four hours a day, however. Those are his peak hours between the times I get home from work and dinner. Sometimes he'll have a good morning, but that's never more than an hour. When he starts getting sleepy, he goes downhill fast. Works his way down the mental prowess. Just before bed he's two but for the most part he'll range between being a snotty four-year-old and a bratty nine-year-old with the physical abilities of a three-year-old. This, however, is most recent."

Ellone chewed on her bottom lip. "He got that bad in a year?"

"It started in the beginning – little things like tantrums. Those became more common and he started to forget things. What I mentioned before, that's a good day. His bad days are when he can't think beyond a three-year-old. It makes things more complicated because you're so used to Squall knowing what he wants and how to express it. Today's been an iffy day. The traveling has thrown off his sleep pattern and he spent the entire flight climbing chairs and making forts while demanding  _Unkie Keeroz_ ," he stressed the words with a wide grin, "join him. He'll probably explore this house for hours before grabbing his toys and showing you everything a billion times." He rubbed his temples.

Outside he could see Seifer and Kiros, hanging back while smoking. It seemed Kiros was explaining the history of the small community to the nanny.

Behind him shuffling near the door had Laguna immediately opening, letting Squall roam around freely. The child stared around his new surroundings, stepping out cautiously before rushing back to Laguna in fear. "How about you take Squall to visit Raine? She's at the chocobo nest near the flower fields." Ellone smiled, brushing her fingers through the boy's messy hair. "I'll start up on some dinner while you're all gone."

Laguna nodded, reaching down to take his son's hand as he left the door, disappearing in the light sprinkles.

 

* * *

Finding the grave site wasn't hard. The two had bought some flowers and Laguna had let the old lady who  _still_  worked the flower shop preen over Squall before buying Raine's favorite for nearly three times the listed value. He didn't care as she wearily took his money, adding a few flowers for Squall to deliver. Still clouded with sleep, the child didn't consider the gift the woman was giving to him, an outsider. Instead, his grip on the stems was too tight, damaging the beautiful flora. Neither said anything as Laguna lead the boy out, listening passively as the boy babbled about what was in his hands as if anyone knew what was exciting him.

Kiros had decided to hang back, wanting to visit little Elle for a while. Seifer, unable to stand looking at the woman he once considered a sister, opted to join the two. He kept an appropriate distance, taking in his surroundings with natural interest. Laguna had attempted to comfort the man by mentioning that a lot of city-dwellers fell in love with the country air. It was a refreshing step back.

"Hard to imagine," Seifer admitted gruffly, "that Squallie could have been raised here. Can't see Squall with a piece of grass between his teeth and a straw hat on."

To be honest, Laguna could never see himself as either. He loved Raine and, had she of lived; he knew he would have done all within his power of charisma to drag the country girl in Esthar. He needed cities and she needed to spread her warmth. "You can look around, if you want."

"Naw, I'm good. I'm here to watch Squall. Can't do that if I'm getting drunk somewhere." Laguna shook his head. He hadn't realized until recently just how messed up the war had left Seifer. Although the man was good at hiding all of it from Squall, Laguna was a master of seeing past mask. He knew that Seifer had made himself a hole and was attempting to bury himself in alcohol, drugs, and other substance. At first, the president had vented his distaste for the behavior (especially around his son) to Kiros but had learned that what Seifer really needed was not be to pushed aside from his weakness but a new family to tell him that everything was different.

Laguna wasn't sure what to make of any of that, of course.

"Choco!" Squall's voice rose to a high pitch. Dropping the flowers from his hands, the little boy broke out of Laguna's hold and darted towards a chicabo off playing in the fields. Laguna stopped Seifer from going off after the child, suggesting keeping a distance. There was no way Squall's attention was going to be pulled away from a bird for a rock in the dirt.

Moving ahead, Laguna nearly stumbled over the grave marker on its lonesome in the field of flowers. Dropping to his knee, Laguna brushed his hand across the grave stone. His ring made a noise against the stonework. Freezing, Laguna found himself lost in the memory of the night he gave Raine the wedding band. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a body sit next to him.

Seifer grunted, frowning at the marker. "What did she look like?"

"Like Squall. Fully cheeks, pretty eyes." While muttering this, Laguna wrestled in his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He always saved one picture of Raine, a copy from Timber Maniacs. Seifer whistled at the image, earning a smirk from Laguna.

"Looks like a female version of Squall." Seifer shifted forward when a weight pressed to his back.

"What does?" A child's sharp voice asked. Squall situated himself on Seifer's back, relaxing to look over the man's shoulder. The child stood back up, coming around to get closer to the gravestone. Small fingers stretched out over the name, trying to take everything in. "Is this…?"

Laguna leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Squall's middle. "Yeah, that's your mother. That's…" The words got caught in his throat. His wife, his lover, his friend. The mother of his child. "I've wronged you both in so many ways." Laguna sobbed. "Raine, I'll do better. I'll take care of our son."

He never noticed Seifer leave.

"I have a mom." Squall whispered some time later, situated in Laguna's lap.

"Yeah. She was a beautiful lady."

"…Tell me about her…"

"Where do I start?" Laguna grinned.

"The beginning." Squall fumbled with the picture of Raine. "I want to hear everything."

With a chuckle, Laguna did. He wanted to share every memory (happy or otherwise) about Raine with his – no, their – son.


	9. The Family

Laguna had never been in a Garden before but he had to admit it was beautiful. He'd heard stories about the Second Sorceress War taking place in these very halls but it didn't look like it. In fact, it looked like a page from a book in the Estharian Capital Library. Placing his coffee cup in front of him, Laguna tilted his head back to look out the tall windows of Headmaster Cid's office while he waited for the man to collect his wits and speak with him.

On the floor, with his stuff chocobo and blocks, Squall was laying on his stomach while carrying a very deep conversation with his toys. The child had thrown a fit when Laguna had first admitted they were visited Balamb for the night before heading to Esthar. It was a mixture of reasons that caused the latest tantrum – leaving Ellone so soon, having to see his friends still in child form, and having to leave Seifer behind – but the boy did agree to come along just to see how his old home was doing.

Seifer didn't fare as well. The man was reluctant to even leave the cockpit, swearing he'd rather shoot himself before he reared his head near Balamb. Technically still a wanted man outside of Esthar; the teen was happy staying in hiding even if it meant having to leave Squall for the evening. Kiros had reluctantly stayed back with the blond, leaving Laguna to face Cid Kramer alone.

Rubbing his scalp, Laguna brushed his foot out, purposely knocking Squall's tower of blocks over. The child let out an alarmed cry before tossing a toy towards his father. "Have you ever been in this office, Squall?" He asked, unsure if he'd even get a response. Squall had been in the middle of a lapse and it wasn't clear if he was still in child mode or not.

Bringing his chocobo to his face, Squall chewed on the fading feather on top, looking away. Definitely not adult mode, Laguna winced as the toddler rolled on his back, bored with his other toys. It was only a matter of time before he started climbing in drawers and causing plain havoc. Where was Seifer when needed? Laguna shook his head, reaching through Squall's Choco-Ranger backpack for snacks to tide the boy over.

The crinkle of a plastic bag filled with Ellone's special cookies grabbed Squall's attention immediately. Blue eyes, so much like his own, stared up in wonderment before the child rolled back on his belly, trying to steady himself up on his knees to crawl over. "C'kie!" Squall reached a fist out, his other hand grabbing Laguna's leg, still fisting the chocobo.

"What do you say?"

"C'kie, daddy!" Squall stood on the tips of his toes, reaching for the plastic bag. For a second, Laguna almost dropped the bag of treats.

"What did you call me?"

"Daddy-!" Squall ignored him, reaching for the bag more.

Unable to stop himself, Laguna wrapped his arms around the child's center, pulling the boy close to his own chest. Squall had never called him 'daddy' before. It was always "Laguna" or "Asshole" or "Hey, you". Hearing the actual title was endearing, at least for the president who never thought he'd hear it in his life.

Not sure what was going on but knowing the word had some kind of effect on his father, Squall started chanting it loudly, his eyes still locked on the bag of cookies hoping it would magically open with his treat. Laguna wasted no time, pulling out two of the treats to give to his son. Reaching for both, Squall shuffled both treats in his grubby hands, leaving stains on the yellow chocobo's fur. "Mmm, c'kie!" Squall stuffed as much of one into his mouth, leaving smears across his cheeks.

Going through the bag again, Laguna pulled out wipes to clean Squall up. No need for Cid shoving a cleaning bill on him while this was all going on.

The side doors slid open, causing the older man to jump in his seat. Craning his neck, Laguna relaxed his breathing when Cid came in the room. The other old man paused, watching Squall on the floor attempting to shove the second cookie in the chocobo's beak before taking a bite of the treat himself. Bending some, the older man put his hands on his knees while smiling wider than Laguna thought imaginable. "Hello there, Squall. How are you doing in Esthar?"

Pausing in his snack time, Squall's dirty fingers tightened around Laguna's pant leg. His fat cheeks tightened some, unsure about the new man in the room.

Cid's eyes lightened, his face falling. "Not good then. How long has he...?"

"It's just a lapse." Laguna brushed the wet wipe over Squall's face. The child pulled away, making a deep noise similar to a cry. Laguna took the time to grab flailing arms to clean sticky residue from them. "He has them three or four times a day. I was hoping to speak with your wife about this later. She may be interested to hear about this effect of the time compression." Cid nodded in agreement, taking a seat across from Laguna. "Have all your SeeDs returned? We transferred them out via shuttles but word has it a few have strayed. Would you like us to collect those ones?"

"Most have returned home, deserters. Parents were notified, you don't need to worry. And is the monster clean up…satisfactory?"

"Of course." Laguna clasped his hands together. "Your students are wonderful at what they're trained to do, you should be proud of them. We had no complaints from the people about any misconduct, each were professional in their own manner. The senate, actually, wishes to come to terms with Balamb to do a leasing program with the students. The outskirts of Esthar always have stronger monsters and Squall has told me one of the toughest things to come upon is a monster to take on when those in the training center here become obsolete. We would love to offer our lands for training grounds for your students."

Cid's eyes relaxed. "In turn," he smiled, "you have monster control."

Laguna smiled. "Of course. I only want to better set up communication, mostly, with your Garden for Squall's benefit. It is true Esthar could find use with your students and we always offer business to your school as we will play those students per monster eliminated." Laguna dug through his brief case, looking for the terms and agreements he founded with the senate. He could only hope that those weren't the forms Squall had found and colored all over with Seifer.

Meanwhile, Squall found himself fascinated with the door Cid had came through. On his feet in seconds, the child made his way to the metal sliding door, touching the wall in attempt to learn how it moved. Pushing on the frame, the boy slide down his nose pressing against the cold surface as he went. The chocobo in his hands came down next, slamming into the frame hoping it would open. Looking behind him at the adults, Squall made an attempt and letting them know he wanted to go to the other side and see what was there. They, of course, ignored him, too engrossed in the "coloring books".

Cheeks puffed out, Squall started towards a potted plant, staring inside it. Digging through the dirt, Squall scooped small handfuls to the floor eager to find where the plant was leading down to. So enraptured with his work, the child didn't notice how much of his weight he was putting into the pot until it and the plant tipped over.

"Squall!" Laguna jumped up, rushing to the child while Cid laughed wholeheartedly.

"Maybe Squall would like to see some of his old companions?" The headmaster reached into his pocket, pulling out a communicator.

In seconds the door that Squall wanted open did so, four bodies wrestling to get into the room. The smallest slid past them, sliding towards the child still on the floor. "Squallie!" Selphie's arms extended before wrapping around the child, pulling him off the ground. Wide eyed and terrified, Squall reached for his father as he started to cry. "Oh my god! You're just so cute!"

Still reaching towards his parent, Squall's sobs racked his frame. "Daddy-!"

And the whole room fell into chaos.

Selphie delved into Squall, lifting the boy into her arms to pat his back while bouncing him against her shoulder. Her words soothed him some, enough to get him to stop screaming. Instead, Quistis and Zell's voice rang out to Laguna, demanding to know what had happened to their dearest friend. Cid and Irvine, on the other hand, were trying to get Squall to talk, adding to the noise. Rubbing his temples, Laguna leaned against the conference table thinking maybe he should have stayed behind with Seifer.

"Could one of you just take him to get a bite to eat or something?" He asked softly. "Make sure whatever it you get him is cut into pieces or he'll choke. Also, he's had a nap already but if he gets tired just let him sleep. I have a spare change of clothes in here for him in case there's an accident but to be safe after he eats suggest the potty." Laguna handed the chocobo-ranger bag to Zell's arms, watching with glee at the unaccustomed look on the blonde's face. Quitis looked just as startled with the turn of events. "Think of it as birth control." Laguna snickered, turning back to the papers in front of him.

Cid joined him with laughter. "Some of these kids might need it. Be good with Squall, I still want to sit with him later."

"He should be back in his own mind later." Laguna nodded. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Selphie screamed.

"Yay! That means Squall can come to our party!" The brunette squeezed the child in her arms, only stopping when she felt plush against her face. Squall attacked again, the toy rebounding off her cheek. Face lighting up, Selphie almost hugged the child again had Irvine not rescued Squall from her arms, positioning the child to sit on his shoulders. His hat was the first thing grabbed by the curious child but he didn't say anything as he held firmly onto one ankle, his other placed on his girl's back. "Did you hear that, Irvie? Squall can join us for the celebration party!"

"I think that depends on when his bedtime is, hun." Irvine's voice carried as he left the office. Zell and Quistis followed soon after, chasing the other two to the elevator. Back in the office, Laguna could only shake his head at the so-called Heroes. Some people never grew up.

* * *

It took two hours before Squall came back into his own mind. He was with Selphie in the newly rebuilt Quad. Blue eyes gazed up over the high beams before coming back down to the new floors. He never liked this room as it always symbolized parties and guest, all of which Squall hated with a passion. Grabbing his stuffed chocobo from the floor, Squall pushed himself to his feet to get a good look at what was going on. It wasn't often that the school actually used the wing. Normally students just crowded in here to pay a few hands at games or meet up with groups so they could go into town. Now it was filled with excited children talking about the first party to celebrate the complete end to the Sorceress War.

Squall chewed his lip. That was never good. If there were no Sorceresses, there was no need for SeeD. Turning around, he crawled down the steep stairs. It didn't take much to completely leave Selphie's sights. Instead, he was too eager to see other changes that had come over the Garden, including the wide assortment of students now enrolled.

"Hey, Squall."

Looking up, Squall gave his old companion a small smile. "Irvine."

"Finally got tired of Selphie?" Irvine glanced back into the Quad when Selphie's voice carried out for the students to find Squall before he hurt himself. "You've been with her for a good while."

"Where's Laguna?"

"I think he just finished his meeting with Cid and is getting a tour of the Garden by Quistis. Apparently he's going to be the school's benefactors and needs to see what's going on." Irvine slowed his strides, letting the child keep up with him. The plush toy in the boy's hands drew his attention but he didn't say anything about it. "We came back for a huge party. Matron is finally stepping out into public again, it's been a whole year since time compression – you didn't invite us to your birthday by the way."

Squall snorted. "I didn't even tell Laguna until after the fact. It was best that I didn't; he went all out with this stupid pizza place. I'm three, it's not like I'm going to remember any of it." The last part was said with malice, letting the world see his full resentment towards his entire lapse. Taking a deep breath, Squall calmed himself some. "Besides, it wasn't too eventful, you would have been bored."

"At a pizzeria? Hell no. All I had for my birthday was a little one-on-one time with Selph, if you know what I mean." When the child's face turned red, Irvine snickered. "Besides, so much has changed we just wanted some time to hang out as old friends in a familiar atmosphere."

"I thought you were at Galbadia."

The cowboy shook his head. "Yeah, during the beginning of the year. I trained a replacement. Still go over there ever few months to make sure it's being run similar to Balamb as well as its old ways but I spend most of my time up at Trabia with Selphie. Oh did you hear?" The gossip in Irvine reared its head, his smile stretched across his face. "Zell bought Quisty a ring. I heard he's going to propose tonight."

"What happened to the Library Girl?"

"She transferred out. Now, what else is there…Oh! Matron is teaching the children here now. She's pretty good even though he's not combat training although she does have a few magic classes for the more advance students. And Rinoa…" His expression closed off, not even looking down at Squall. A tug at his pant leg told him to continue. "Because she is a Sorceress, we have a SeeD always trailing her so we do know of her whereabouts and doings. She's dating a nice guy, last I heard. I think they're serious."

Squall's face darkened a bit, his chocobo suffering his anger. "Well that's good." He pushed out. "Will she be here tonight?"

"No. She avoids the Gardens. She's not all that aware of the SeeD trailing her, either. Anyway, let's go to better topics. I bet you're eager to see the training center. We added a new floor and…" The man trailed off but Squall's lucrative attention was already gone, caught up with the newest fountain in the Garden. It was shaped like Griever. His eyes sparkled as he reached the marble, trying to climb up so he could see it better. Irvine was with him in seconds, talking about the new statue.

That was how Laguna found them. All smiles, the older man stopped just short of them, hearing some of Squall's wild tales of Esthar that only a child's imagination could make up. Irvine seemed to calmly take them in but his eyes told the story of a grieving man that lost a dear friend. "There you two are." Laguna ran his hand through Squall's hair. His boy pulled out from under him. "Hope he didn't get into much mischief."

"I could totally send him into the girl's dorm with a camera and get good footage." Irvine snickered. "He's a chick magnet."

Laguna's smile fell some, if not all. "Please don't send him in there, he gets scared in crowds. Anyway," he focused his attention on Squall, catching a yawn from the child, "someone needs to be put down for a quick nap if he's going to be joining you all for this party. Mind if I take him away?"

"No, not at all." Irvine patted Squall's head. "I'll see you later, be a hellion." With that said, he left the two. Squall's eyes remained fixed on Griever before he was picked up into Laguna's arms and taken to the VIP Dorms. Maybe, he agreed, a quick nap would take away all these thoughts of inadequacy.

Hours later, Squall was back in bed, having only spent a few minutes (possibly an hour) with his friends at the party. There he'd danced with Quistis (and he would forever brush it off as a lapse as Squall Leonhart did not dance), ate bread with Zell until the man choked, and spoke with Matron about his changes. After that, he had a small lapse, leaving him running around the Quad screaming on the top of his lungs while trying to get someone to play with him. After that, Laguna excused himself and Squall, saying they were going to be leaving early in the morning.

Now, fully awake in bed, Squall was tossing and turning eager to go back to the party for at least some treats. He saw some of his favorite mint chocolate cookies on the buffet line and worried someone else would eat them if he didn't go back. It was already midnight, the party at its high. Squall rolled back over as Laguna snorted in his sleep. The man would never realize, the child realized, sliding towards the edge of the bed. He'd run downstairs, grab a few cookies, maybe hug Matron one last time, and then go back to bed.

Plan decided, Squall let his feet touch the cold bed at once before he took off towards the door. Laguna hadn't even locked the door; Squall smirked as it slid open for him immediately. Outside, the two guards jumped from the wall. "You shouldn't be up…" One frowned.

"I have to pee." Squall whispered, hoping they wouldn't know there was a bathroom in there. "Can I go use it?"

The one on the left shrugged his shoulders. "Just hurry back."

Nodding, Squall darted off in the opposite direction of the public toilets, his little feet padding across the cold hallways. His mind shifted back to the last time he did this during a party, when he rushed to the Training Center to meet up with Quistis. Pushing into the Quad, Squall was surprised with the number of students still out there, talking.

Remembering his mission, Squall moved to the wall, hugging the cold surface before making his way to the buffet table housing all the treats. When a drunken student nearly stepped on him, Squall darted under the table, only reaching up once to grab a handful of cookies. He was stuffing a few in his mouth when he got the feeling he was being watched. Looking around, Squall tensed when he saw golden eyes staring at him from one corner. Edea Kramer hadn't aged at bit, still looking like the Matron from his memories.

"Matron…" Squall whispered, dropping some cookies.

"Couldn't sleep?" The woman asked.

"Uh, uh." Squall whispered, picking one treat off the floor. He almost shoved it in his mouth when Edea stopped him, taking the dirty treat from his hand. He was then pulled out from under the table, lifted into her motherly arms. Wrapping his own thin ones around her neck, Squall tucked himself against her ear, breathing in her earthly shampoos. He missed this. "I missed Matron." He whispered.

"And I missed you Squall. I missed all my babies." She swayed some with him in her arms, resembling a dance mothers used to put children to sleep. "You, Quisty, Zell, Selphie, Irvine. I missed all of you."

"What about Seifer?" Squall brushed his fingers through Edea's hair. It wasn't as soft as Laguna's but still felt nice in his fingers.

Edea's breathing slowed. "I miss him, too."

Looking around the room, Squall found himself staring at all his friends, talking amiably at once on a far off table. The only one missing was Seifer and it hurt the child to know where that one person was. "I can show you him. He thinks you hate him."

Not moving altogether, Edea pulled Squall back. "You really know where he is?" Squall could only nod, asking her to take him to the Ragnarok.

Ragnarok wasn't parked that far away, in fact, it was only a few minutes away. The ship didn't groan to admit them into the docking bay and Squall pulled himself out of Edea's arms to drag the woman up to the passenger bay when Seifer had last been at. Inside, Kiros jumped awake at the sound of the door opening, his dark eyes looking around the room to see all that was going on. When they fell on Squall, they lightened some until they fell on the Sorceress behind him. A sharp intake of air from the corner of the room had all eyes turning on Seifer who'd been pulled awake from one nightmare to an even bigger one.

Trying to pull away from that spot, the man moved himself across the floor, but each step was nothing compared to that of Edea's as she made her way over to him, dropping on one knee. "Seifer…" She whispered.

Swallowing hard, Seifer looked around for an escape, but Kiros was blocking the only door with Squall nestled against his leg, looking dead on his feet. "Sorceress Edea…"

"Please don't call me that Seifer, call me what everyone else does: matron." The woman brought her arms around Seifer, locking him in a tight hold. "I'm your matron." She reminded the child who never got adopted.

"M, matron…" Seifer's eyes stayed wide, his thoughts circling around him. His arm wrapped around Edea. "M, matron…" this time his voice broke into a sob. "I'm so sorry Matron-!" He cried loudly into her shoulder. "I didn't mean-!"

"Sh, sh." Edea rocked him in her arms. "I've hurt you so much, sweet Seifer. I didn't mean to. Please…will you ever forgive me?"

Across the room, Squall wrapped his arms around Kiros' leg, begging to be held before he fell asleep. "Where's Laguna?"

"Sleepin'…" Squall rubbed his eyes, still wanting to watch his dearest friend and matron repair their broken relationship.

"Like you should be…" Kiros trailed off as the doors to the passenger bay slid open again, this time all four of Squall's friend entering. Zell was speaking about having seen Squall and Edea enter the ship. All of them stopped talking when they saw Seifer, still enveloped in Edea's arms.

It was Selphie that stepped up first, falling to her knees beside Edea, trying to hold her lost friend as well. Quistis followed, suit. Taken by the emotion of everything, Zell rushed over, falling on Seifer with a outward cry of, "I love you, man!" Irvine could only shake his head, brush his hand over Squall's messy bed head, before joining the others on the floor to take turns welcoming Seifer back.

Kiros patted Squall's back. "Let's get you back to Laguna."

No one saw that Squall had fallen asleep already with a pleasant smile on his face.


	10. The Conclussion

Esthar was as pretty now as it had been four years ago. The biggest difference that Rinoa first noticed was a giant dome overhead that blocked out heavy rains. The people walked around the multilevel paths without a care in the world about neither the world around nor the sorceress among them. The brunette would have had it any other way, especially since her being there wouldn't be welcomed as it was in other remote parts of the world. Here she was a foreign face, a prey for the merchants with delicious goodies with high prices.

Fixing the sunhat on her head, Rinoa continued past the crowds, careful to keep her travel bag in front of her to avoid it being stolen. Years of living in Deling City had taught her to trust no one, especially in the crystallized city. If the merchants were eager to suck her wallet dry than certainly someone would think that her extra outfit or possibly the collective model of the Lion Heart gunblade was a fitting prize.

Boarding a sky lift, Rinoa clutched her bag. A soldier gave her a side glance but didn't move from his position, watching the final level of sky walk move away from them. Another passenger, a woman and her child, were talking pleasantly about their day, adding a more homely feel to the transporter. Smiling at the child, Rinoa considered the boy's age. He looked like a five-year-old, just like her old boyfriend would be. He was so cute, chattering to his mother about the moombas he'd seen in town. Would Squall be as excited about the little lions roaming the city too? From what she'd seen he treated them better than he had most humans, often concerned about their wellbeing.

It had been a spur of the moment decision to come to Esthar to surprise Squall for his birthday. She'd felt bad when she left Esthar four years before, completely ostracizing herself from the people she traveled with. She did love each and every one of them but knowing what SeeD did and what she was made it harder to be around them. It was just safer for her to keep herself scarce, working on her own to find a solution for Squall's age problem.

Four years later, she was no closer to an answer. Excusing herself from her duties as leader to the World Freedom Organization, she boarded the first working train to Fisherman Horizon and then walked to Esthar. She had to come clean and tell Squall that she didn't think there was any changing back. She also had to come clean to the man she still loved. If he couldn't be an adult again, she needed to end it. She had to move on, for both of them.

The lift came to a stop at a lower level district and the soldier got off, removing his helmet as he did so. Probably going home, Rinoa noted absently as the lift started moving, taking its passengers back up to the higher districts. The mother and son left at the front service station, taking a hard left to go to the shopping district. Left alone, Rinoa jammed her finger into the launch button, letting the ship move her on to the presidential palace.

The closer she came, the harder her heart started to pound. She doubted she'd be let in, even if she was there to see Squall. She was still and would always be a sorceress which would put the guards around the president at arms. She would need to get past them to get to Squall unless the boy was around to recognize her. She doubted Squall would be. She didn't know much about children but she knew that a child like Squall would never go outside if there were people around.

Climbing off the lift when it came to a jerky stop, Rinoa started towards the wide arch of the presidential palace where another lift would be. Guards stepped in front of her at that moment, stopping her at the gates. "This is a restricted area," one said, never making full eye contact with her. Rinoa felt her sink under the other guard, much taller than his companion. He was keeping an eye on her, probably trying to remember where he'd seen her image from.

She never prayed so hard for Ward or Kiros to step out. They didn't. "I'm here for Squall…Loire's birthday." She had to fight back to say Leonheart. She doubted they'd believe her if she called out the supposed dead heroes name.

"The presidential palace is closed off to all visitors unless otherwise authorized. You can take that lift," he pointed to the one that Rinoa had just ridden, "and return to the business district by taking route three."

Huffing, Rinoa turned, storming off. She knew that fighting these guys wasn't going to help her case. She'd have to stand and wait for Squall to spot her. Hyne, she'd count her blessing if Kiros stepped out and realized it was her. Leaning against the cool blue glass of the rails overlooking the grand city, Rinoa frowned. Maybe she should have called?

A small laugh escaped her. She doubted that would be any more helpful. She was running from SeeD. She knew it would be impossible not to see some SeeD come Squall's birthday, especially the ragtag team he fought with. She just didn't want to draw attention to herself by approaching them. In fact, she prayed that her friends would actually come to this birthday so she could apologize to all of them about what had happened after Squall's initial change.

It wasn't until the red sun started setting on the horizon that she heard a promising sound coming from the landing to the left. Twisting sharply, Rinoa held her breath as she waited for the voice to match the child she longed to see. There, darting forward, was a little brunette with a hand colored mask strapped to his face. If it weren't for his hair, she would have never guessed it.

The child turned on his heels, waving his hands rapidly, "Come on! We gotta get home!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. You're so fast today."

"That's 'cause I'm a moomba—roar!" The child made a claw like motion to an approaching blond.

For the second time, Rinoa felt the air catch in her throat. She knew that man. She could never forget him. Her first crush, her first enemy… "Seifer…"

She didn't know she said his name loud enough until stunning brown eyes faced her. The man paused for a second, taking in her form before stepping forward, "Rinoa?"

"It's been awhile." She wanted to first ask what he was doing in Esthar. The last she heard Seifer Almasy was a wanted man in the Galbadian Region. With such a price for his head, many nations were quick to give in details about his whereabouts. So far none had guessed right. Said man was standing in front of her now, looking clean cut and rather happy. He had an oversized, reusable shopping bag with him in one arm and a book bag thrown over his other shoulder. "I wasn't expecting to see you…here."

"I could say the same." Seifer chewed on his bottom lip. "Not that it's horrible to see you, I just wasn't expecting you – here, now—Squall, slow down!" His attention returned to the boy, trotting ahead of them now to the guard that had blocked Rinoa's entrance. The man, so distant before, now gave the child his undivided attention with a wide smile as the boy showed off his mask. Rinoa frowned. Squall didn't even greet her.

Was he mad?

"I came for Squall's birthday." Rinoa admitted. "It's been a few years and I wanted to talk with Squall about…us."

The man's face froze. Brown eyes that could stare into her soul disappeared behind lids before the man turned, lighting up a cigarette. His fingers shook as he quickly inhaled the stick before released his breath of dark smoke. He didn't turn around until the fag was halfway burnt before crushing it under his boot. He grunted lowly before twisting again back to Squall, who was now watching him from behind the guard's leg. "Sorry." Seifer finally whispered. "Nervous habit. Squall knows something's wrong now. You should come inside."

"The guards won't let me."

"They will if I lead you in with Squall." Seifer worked his way forward, not even waving his hand for her to follow. "Sorry about that Squall, I'm not mad." The child hid again, something Rinoa noted with confusion especially when Seifer bent to his knee, talking around the guard as if the man wasn't even there. "She's an old friend. No, calm down, nothing's going to happen."

Blue eyes looked past Seifer, towards her and Squall hid again. The guard chuckled, giving the boy a firm push toward to the blonde. "You know the president doesn't want you smoking around his son."

"Shut the hell up, Hugo. I know what I'm doing." Eyes narrowed, Seifer lifted the child into his arms. "Mrs. Heartilly is coming in with me. I'll take full responsibility." That said, Seifer moved into the wide arches of the presidential palace. Rinoa followed around him, pointedly sticking her tongue out at the guard who, in turn, scowled at her. She heard him whisper out sorceress under his breath, like a curse, but she paid no mind to it.

"Squall—" She started when she noticed Squall analyzing her over Seifer's shoulder.

Making a small noise, Squall ducked into the blonde's shoulder, using the jacket the man was wearing as a shield.

"Rinoa," Seifer didn't slow his pace, pushing the buttons rapidly on the lift they would be using. Rinoa clenched her things, waiting to be told off by the man. "Squall's not your Squall anymore. Leonheart is dead."

She had to fight back her gasp at that. She knew he wasn't just talking about the newspapers that had spread like a wildfire after the Second War. There was something in his voice letting her know he meant beyond the realm of physical life. "Then who is it in your arms."

The child shifted, looking again over Seifer's shoulder. "I'm Squall Loire." The boy whispered. "Are you Uncle Seifer's friend?"

Piercing her lips, Rinoa nodded. "I was." She doubted the boy would pick up the past tense in that statement, but it was truth. She and Seifer had stopped being friends when he pushed her into Adel. She still had feelings for the man as a friend, deep down, but on the surface, they could never be as close as they had been then. She was starting to pick up what Seifer meant when the mask that had been shown to everyone reappeared on Squall's face. Apparently thinking the mask as a shield from anyone actually seeing him, Squall started making Moomba growling noises in Seifer's ears, apparently having a good conversation with himself as Seifer made deep noise of affirmation to what was going on. "When did this happen?" She finally asked.

"Maybe you should talk to Laguna about that. I'm just his nanny." Seifer patted the boy's bottom, lightly. "Don't lick me, Squall – that's disgusting."

"I'm not Squall – I'm a Moomba!" The boy curved his hand with that, running the bare knuckles along Seifer's scratchy cheek. "Roar!"

"Well moombas that lick me don't get any dessert after dinner." Seifer slid a keycard into a door they had walked too. The door slid open, opening into the home that Rinoa had only seen in a second years ago. Laguna's condo.

It had changed since the last time she was here, no longer looking like a model home that no one ever lived it. Children toys scattered the floor, overfilling a toy box that had migrated out of a bedroom that was decorated with spaceships, monsters, and swords. Pictures of the child flooded every corner of the room, surrounded by others of Ward, Kiros, Laguna, Ellone, and the SeeD members. Even the refrigerator was decorated with drawings. This was a home overturned by a child.

Struggling out of Seifer's arms, Squall slid to the ground, rushing to the kitchen. "Guess what!" He shouted. Seifer made a hushing movement, but it didn't slow the child don any. "I get to cook dinner tonight! You want some?"

"What are you having?" Rinoa asked carefully.

"Um…" Squall tilted his head back. "Spaghetti!" He pointed at the grocery bag in Seifer's hand. "When do we get to start?"

Putting the food away, Seifer answered smoothly, "later. Do you any home projects for preschool?"

The child bit his lips. "I got to find colors." He pointed up. "The sun's red."

"It's yellow."

"Nu-uh!" Squall belted out, "it's red! I'll show you!"

"Squall, I'm talking with our visitor, why don't you go play in your room until dinner time."

Puffing his cheeks out, Squall stuck his tongue out at Rinoa before darting to his room, disappearing behind the slide of the door. Taking a seat, Seifer crossed his arms. "Sit." He said to the girl. Rinoa did as instructed, carefully placing her belongings next to her. "What did you come all the way here to talk to Squall about?"

Rinoa pierced her lips. "That's between him and me."

"You might not get the answer you came for. I'm not kidding. Squall Leonheart's dead. That little boy is Squall Loire, in mind and body. He doesn't remember anything about his past and…we actually want to keep it that way." The last part was said so softly Rinoa almost didn't hear.

"Is this what Squall would have wanted? He's a fucking child!" She couldn't hold her own tone. When she left Squall was just fine! Sure, he was embarrassed about his diminutive frame but he wasn't out of his mind, thinking he was actually a Moomba. He didn't talk rapidly or as loud. That wasn't Squall in anyway – not even the younger one, from what she'd pictured through the stories from their orphanage days the group had started to remember.

"He was two." Seifer took a deep breath. "He was three when he stopped being himself. He couldn't fight it, Rinoa. It was only a matter of time before he became a child. It was gradual at first and then  _bam_ he woke up one morning, babbling like a child. Days went by and he didn't revert back. Months soon came and gone and eventually we stopped waiting. He doesn't remember his original childhood or any of us. We've reacquainted ourselves with him as aunts and uncles rather than brothers and sisters. It's cliché, but this is his second childhood and we want to give him everything his first one didn't offer him."

Rinoa folded her hands in her lap. Across from her she could see a picture of Squall, smiling so happily. "Are you trying to force him back into SeeD?" She meant more than that, really. It scared her that they would use this opportunity to perfect a warrior. Train earlier than the Garden had; teach him that the sorceresses were the enemy.

Seifer frowned. "Me? I suggested it. I offered to train him with the gunblade when he's older and he's interested…but only because his hero, Leonheart, wielded one. I don't suggest the Gardens, of course. I would prefer he just learn his weapon again versus being some bureaucratic paper pusher but his personality is so different now. He hasn't lost his only family nor has he had to rely on just himself at an early age. This isn't our Squall and Laguna wants us to know that. He's giving Squall the best education that he can but whatever Squall wants to do, he will allow. We can't mold a dead friend out of this new life." Seifer scowled at the door for a second before breathing heavily.

"I respect Laguna's decision," he continued. "That isn't my puberty boy. That's my charge and I want only the best for him." He paused, letting the room fall into silence. Faintly, Rinoa could hear Squall, talking to himself (or to his toys, it was hard to say). He was giving orders to his imaginary friends, riling up an army in his bedroom. A loud bang was heard but Seifer didn't get up to check what had happened. When no other noise followed, the man shrugged his broad shoulders. "It's a bit of a coincidence you're here though – no one else could show this year for the big party."

"Oh?" Rinoa raised a brow.

Seifer nodded. "Yeah. Selphie's about to pop and her doctor suggested she stay in Trabia—"

Rinoa jumped from her seat. "Selphie's pregnant?"

"Unless she just got fat, then yeah – she's pregnant. Twins takes her up to three now. Ritz is her first, a clone of Irvine."

"He's cool, he's got lots of guns and they go  _pow, pow_ when you pull the trigger and—" Rinoa nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Squall's voice next to her. The child pulled out a chair to climb in on. He then wiggled it across the floor until he was at the table again; ready to join in on the adult conversation. "Seifer when are we going to start dinner?"

"It's not time, yet. You know Squall; we really ought to have these toys cleaned up. You don't want your daddy to slip on one again, do you?" The child blanched for a second, looking around the room. "Squall…"

"I was going to clean 'em up earlier." The child whispered.

Seifer smiled. "I know you were but we had to leave as soon as daddy went to work. I'll help you clean but why don't you start with the sitting room. I think you still have a war going on in there." Squall stuck out his bottom lip, quivered it for a few seconds before sliding out of his seat and under the table. Rinoa was almost prepared for Squall to start throwing a tantrum about having to clean but the child crawled out towards the living space where his toys were thrown about. After a few seconds of thinking about how to go about the task of cleaning, item after item was picked up and carried to the toy box in the corner.

She wanted to say how well behaved Squall was but the memory of him actually being an adult kept playing in her head. Maybe that was just her Squall. The man was always a neat freak.

"So are you going to join us for dinner?"

Rinoa flushed red. "I really need to be finding a place to stay—"

Seifer smirked. "There's always here, seeing as you're going to Squall's birthday. Sit relax, Laguna will let you stay."

"You really shouldn't."

"Trust me! You're family! Squall would love you to be there for his birthday—just, ah…no magic, please? It makes him nervous."

"I'm a sorceress, not a magician." Rinoa scowled.

"I'm fully aware of that. Just…no spells. It makes Squall cry and I don't like handling him when he's crying."

* * *

When Laguna did come back, Squall had erected a fort in the clean living room, slowly dragging all his toys out to it. Rinoa had situated herself outside the open sheet entrance, mindful of the piece of paper taped above the fort that supposedly said (in its colorful squiggly lines) 'No Girls Allowed'. She had tried for the better part of the morning to butter up to the child, asking about his school and his life. Emphasis was placed on the question of how happy he was with Laguna and his ragtag team of friends.

Laguna watched her carefully when he entered and she did the same with him. After her relocation after Time Compression, she was nervous now about how the president would take to her. Esthar wasn't known to take well to sorceresses, especially after Adel. Also against her was the fact that she'd abandoned Squall after the change even though she was the man's best friend (possibly even girlfriend).

"I see one of his friends was able to make it this year." Laguna commented absently. "He was so upset when Zell had to cancel."

Rinoa frowned. She'd asked Seifer earlier about all the other SeeDs and their absence. Even Ellone's disappearance had surprised her. She expected the young woman to rush back to her family in a second but she was wrong. Zell and Quistis, a recent couple, had been overloaded with work. With the Garden extended out for trade work rather than mercenaries, they were arranging contracts with the ever growing City of Balamb and couldn't find the time to leave for Esthar.

Selphie, so far along in her pregnancy, was suggested not to travel. She was more upset about not being able to come than Squall was, considering it was the few days she got to relax on Laguna's dollar. Her first born, Ritz, was a handful and Irvine wasn't making it any easier. Their move to Trabia to help re-establish the Garden post-war had become a full-time job, both as teachers. Irvine didn't want to leave his wife when she was put on bed rest and neither were willing to send Ritz out un-chaperoned. With their best regards, they promised to send Squall a present if he remembered to call them more often.

With retirement, Cid and Edea were hard to find. They had sent a card, a week too early, wishing Squall a happy birthday. Laguna had thrown a fit that had left Kiros ears ringing for days after.

And Ellone…her recent engagement and work at her orphanage in Winhill had kept her too busy to visit. She sent her regards and a hand sewn sweater to Squall.

Left on her own to fend off a friend-starved Squall, Rinoa was tempted to give the boy her gift and flee. "I mostly came here to speak with Squall, his birthday just happened to coincide," She admitted.

"I'm going to be six." Squall peaked out of his fort.

"Such a man." Rinoa chimed on instinct. It caused the child to beam in delight.

"That means I get to stay up an hour later." Nodding his head as if that was absolute, Squall ducked back into his fort before his father could argue him on it, something that had been occur more often around the last few months.

"You won't get the answers you want from him." Laguna sat at the dining room table, brushing his salted hair back behind his ears. "But you're welcome to try. You'll be staying in Ellone's suite, I guess?"

"I set it up for her." Seifer stirred the sauce at the stove. "Squall, do you want to set the dinner table?" The child rolled out his fort, rushing to the kitchen to collect plates and forks. "Kiros not joining us today?"

"He was complaining of a headache for the better half of the evening so I told him to go home, eat some soup." Laguna thanked Squall when the child slid a plate out in front of him. "Will you be joining us for Squall's birthday tomorrow?" Rinoa nodded. "Good, it's not going to be much since all of his friends couldn't show. Some children from his day program, a few adults, a pool, and a few games. Nothing extravagant."

"Sounds like a lot."

Bringing food forward, Seifer smirked. "When Laguna's planning – that's not much."

* * *

Rinoa never felt more uncomfortable than she felt right then and there. The party was a small ordeal with the parents of three other children coming, Seifer, and Laguna's friends. Ward brought his wife, who had organized the meal plan for the event. For the most part, parents were together with parents, Laguna and his crew were making pleasantries with each group, and the children were running around hyped up on sugar.

She vowed to never have kids.

It wasn't until she saw Squall fall to the cement did she make a move to pull herself away from the shadows. Waving Seifer and Laguna off, she knelt by Squall's side and helped him up and away from the grounds so she could better check on his knees. Rolling up his pant leg, she brought her hand down barely above his knee, unleashing a soft familial glow of a cure.

She never expected Squall to start screaming. Little arms flailed, his feet coming up and slamming against her chest to push her away, giving him plenty of space to make a run for it. Glancing over her shoulder, she realized the party had gone quiet, many of the guest trying to figure out what had gone wrong with the birthday boy, now cowering as far away from the sorceress as humanly possible. Taking a deep breath, Rinoa finally excused herself, returning to Laguna's apartment where she found solace just the night before.

Seifer's voice plagued the back of her mind. " _…No spells. It makes Squall cry…_ "

How had she forgotten? Squall probably thought she was Ultimecia. She dropped on the leather seat, kicking some of Squall's many toys out of the way.

"What the hell, Rinoa! I told you no magic!" Seifer stormed into the room, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I forgot, okay?" She hissed. She rarely used her magic to begin with but when she did she only used powerful cures to protect people. She hadn't expected the harmless spell to cause such a response. She thought Squall would do what kids did at circuses when they saw clowns – start crying. She hadn't expected the boy to have a panic attack. "I should leave, I'm not going to find time to talk to him. Not my Squall at least."

"I thought I told you…" Seifer grumbled.

"I know but I need closure." She dropped her head back. "I want to know that I can move on, that he will let me move on."

"Squall doesn't care what you do with your life."

"I'm sure there would be a 'whatever' thrown somewhere in that equation." Rinoa grabbed at her ankles, folding herself into a tight ball. "Look, I'll be gone before the party ends, tell Laguna I'll try not to be so scarce in the future/"

"Hm." Seifer shrugged. "Whatever you want, Princess." With a sharp turn, he left the girl in the room, alone with the many pictures of Squall over the past few years.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a warm hand touched her shoulder. "Miss Heartilly, I'm sorry."

Twisting to look at the child, Rinoa couldn't fight the pleasant smile for taking her face. "I'm sorry for using that magic around you. I forgot that it scared you. Can I ask you a question?" She scooted over, patting the cushion next to her for the child to sit. Squall did. "Why are you afraid of magic?" Her Squall wasn't afraid of anything but feelings.

"'Un't know." The child mumbled. "It's scary and it hurts and…it makes me really scared like something's going to happen to me…again." His voice seemed lost with the response but settled on it at the same time. "Don'cha have anything you're afraid of?"

"My father." Rinoa whispered childishly. It was only the half-truth. She had a better relationship with the man lately but there was still a present fear that he would reject her if he knew what she'd become. "Bugs, too, but they don't rank so high up." Squall giggled at that. Laughing herself, Rinoa fought to control herself. "I missed you," she finally said.

Squall turned his head towards her. "But we just met."

"I felt like I knew you before. Don't you ever get that feeling?"

"Uh-huh." Squall reached pet one of his stuffed toys. "Like when I'm walking around town with daddy or Seifer. Sometimes the people look so familiar, like I've seen them before. The same with Aunty Selphie's Garden and Uncle Zell's Garden. Then I remember that daddy used to take me to those places a lot when I was a baby."

A smile fell on Rinoa's lips. So there was still some of Squall Leonheart left, covered up by a veil of childish persona. "That's true, you might have met them a long time ago, before you could remember."

"You didn't come up here for my birthday," said the child, bluntly.

Rinoa blushed. "No, no I didn't." She came up for her Squall's birthday. She hardly knew the one sitting in front of her. "I came to speak with my boyfriend but now I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

"I don't think he could answer me anymore," Rinoa whispered absently.

Squall pierced his lips together. "Like mama? She can't answer me either but I like to ask her all sorts of things: if she's happy wherever she's at, if she still loves daddy, if she still loves Squallie. Daddy says she can't answer us anymore 'cause she's no longer with us but I think she does every time something good happens."

"So smart, are you really only six now?" Rinoa fuzzed his hair. The child cried out angrily, pushing her back.

"I'm a man now! I know lots of stuff!"

"Yes, yes you do." Rinoa giggled. Sighing, she stared at the picture directly in front of her of Squall's last birthday with all his SeeD friends and Laguna's friends. The boy looked so happy and complete.

"Why don't you try your question on me!" Squall bounced in his seat.

"Huh?"

"I'll act like your boyfriend so you feel better about asking him later!" Squall clapped his hands excitedly, anxious to help his new friend.

Rinoa shook her head. It wouldn't be the same, but she doubted she'd get any closer of a chance, even if it was all a game of hypothetical. She could live with this Squall's response. "I meet a new man and I want to start dating him but…I already have a boyfriend."

Squall's brows knotted. "Is he like mama?"

"Yes." Rinoa nodded.

The child's bottom lip trembled. His eyes shifted to the floor and his little hands clasped each other. "I…I think…" The child's voice was so hoarse that Rinoa started to tremble herself. "I think he'd want you to move on." The boy looked away. "Does the new boyfriend make you happy?"

"Oh yes." Rinoa giggled.

"Then your old boyfriend is happy." Squall smiled. "I'm sure of it."

The corners of her eyes were wet. Rinoa lowered her head, unable to look at the child. Even though this wasn't coming from her Squall, the words felt authentic. It felt like, for that very second, the whole world had lifted off her shoulders and she no longer felt guilty for moving on.

As she cried, the little child patted her hand, not sure why he too felt like the whole world had lifted off his small shoulders. When Rinoa finally felt better, she let the child lead her back to the party where, for the first time in many years, she finally felt at home.

~Fin~


End file.
